Selfish

I live to make others happy,

all the time,

every day,

until my selfish needs boil up inside

and i scream out

"WHY?!"

"WHY CAN'T I HAVE WHAT I WANT?"

I pray, 

tell you daily,

I want oh so little,

so tell me 

why,

why can't I have what I want?

What I want makes me happy,

makes me smile so big,

Makes me forget everything that hurts,

but tell me why,

why can't I have it?

Every class is canceled,

all my friends are stolen,

I can handle it but tell me Lord

why can't I be happy?

Why, 

who's so broken

and twisted,

why when this broken rag

finally falls 

for a gentleman, 

a man who is not stick thin on cocaine,

striped up and down with tattoos

nose itchy from drugs

and a back hand

that leaves black and purple

to compliment my pale skin

tell me lord why is it all taken?

Why can't I have it?

Why can't I have just one thing?

I feel ashamed for wanting,

I feel ashamed for caring,

but lord sometimes

I give everything I have to others

I live to see others smile

but lord when do *I* get to smile?

Lord when do I get to look in the mirror

and smile proud

and love all that I see?

Lord tell my why,

why can't I have it,

Why can't I be selfish,

just for a day,

I want to be happy. 

Reviews

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

I can understand this feeling...and sometimes we don't know why. But how i view it is that perhaps He wants us to look to Him and find happiness with Him, then other things that He knows that we need will follow. That's how I see it though, but it is easy to become discouraged.