Embers for my Monster

The thought of you again.

Lurking in the shadows.

Seeing the threads of my heart,

my soul,

begin to fray. 

I patch them up time and time again

but as the moment comes upon us

when after many years,

we are reunited.

It is terrifying,

I know,

I will be scared.

I will feel the need to cry.

I will feel the need to scream

and hate you for you cruelty

but I stay silent.

I stay silent and resume

to be nothing but a puppy.

Yes master,

as you say master,

whatever you want is yours.

I'm powerless in your gaze.

I want to burry you under years of hurt

but I cannot help but reach out

begging to be held.

Pleading for just an ounce of kindness.

Threats,

they are all I know.

Yours, my monster,

are the cruelest.

Your eyes are fire,

your hands are iron

and your tongue is a whip

to beat me into submission.

My God,

look at what I've sacrificed.

Look at how I think of nothing except you,

for you are the only one, who, I know no matter what, 

will come back.

You may have me naked,

wrapped in chains

with an open heart bleeding into your glass,

but you are mine.

I watch you go and as I rip my soul apart

I know that in time,

you will come back.

The longer the absence,

the kinder you get.

It's terrifying.

I want us to be like we always are.

I want to give you everything you need,

I want to make your selfish ways happy,

I want you to insult me,

pat me on the head like a pet,

acknowledge me when no one else will.

I never want it to change.

I want you to remain as my monster always.

My monster who rips me apart

but I cannot survive without.

A monster constantly lurking in the blackest regions of my mind.

You beat me but the bruises are kind,

I am yours to kick

but yours alone.

Let the others not touch a hair on my head

for your harsh words are my protection

as your eyes set fire

to those who wish harm on me.

I'm yours

and you are mine.

I am a broken doll,

you patch me

and wind me up

so I may work while you are away. 

What a funny little life we lead.

I know not what you think of me,

and perhaps you know not what I think of you.

I hate you,

I hate you,

You monster

who likes to pull the strings

until the marionette strangles itself

and is left in the mercy of the monster as his favorite toy. 

You see my hatred burns deep

It rumbles in the depths of my soul 

bursting and setting ablaze to everything around it

For though I hate you I cannot live without you. 

As long as you are there to patch me up I will make you happy. 

You are the monster who plays with fire,

I am the ashes from your entertainment,

For my love burns from the deepest embers of hatred.

Reviews

[StatAnimalLover]

Very deep, loved it!