Chapter 23

 

The air was tense after Tsume left and it didn’t seem like anyone wanted to break the silence. I wasn’t sure if any of them were shocked, didn’t know what to say, or didn’t want to say anything to offend me. All of them, with the exception of Nel, knew how close I was to Tsume. I sighed softly before looking up at Toshiro.

 

“Shiro –ah, I mean, Captain Hitsugaya,” I started, drawing his attention. “What do you plan to do now?” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. How could I say that I agreed whole-heartedly with Tsume? How could I ask if there was any part of my brother in the Soul Reaper before me? All I could ask was what we would do next.

 

“I’m going to make sure Aizen goes down,” he answered sternly.

 

“We all need more time to prepare,” Kisuke said, his voice calm and serious. “Now that getting you back isn’t top priority, we should have time to really prepare. Someone should explain what’s happened to the Soul Society.”

 

“I’ll go. I’ll tell Head Captain Yamamoto what happened.”

 

“Toshiro, you should probably just go home with Minako and get some rest,” Ichigo suggested.

 

“Don’t mistake me for a child, Kurosaki.”

 

“Captain Hitsugaya is right. It would be best if he explains it all from his point of view,” Renji answered. I sighed heavily and stood, dusting off my pants.

 

“I agree,” I said. “Toshiro, I trust your judgment.” He nodded, staring up at me. His eyes no longer held any hint of innocence. They were worldly wise and hardened from harsh experiences I couldn’t begin to imagine.

 

“It’s settled, then. You can all go home while Captain Hitsugaya returns to the Soul Society. He’ll give his report and, with any luck, return with news,” Kisuke said, his voice lighter than before.

 

I turned away without another word and began on my way up the ladder. My hands trembled from the swirling, mixed emotions I was feeling. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the new Toshiro. Somewhere deep inside of him, I hoped some part of my little brother remained. At the same time, I was afraid there wasn’t. When I was almost halfway up the ladder, I felt an arm wrap around my waist and I was in Kisuke’s shop in a matter of seconds, my breath caught in my throat. Renji released me and took a step back, allowing me to breathe again, and I gave him a small, grateful smile.

 

“Thanks, Renji,” I murmured and walked out of the shop.

 

For the first time since he was captured, I was walking home without my brother. I felt numb as I walked with Renji right beside me. The silence was something I was both grateful for and hated. I felt as if I’d truly lost my brother, despite what he’d always said. When we arrived at my house, I locked the door behind me and simply stood in the hallway. Renji didn’t leave to retrieve his gigai and instead stood in front of me. He seemed to have something on his mind, but didn’t speak for a few minutes.

 

“I’m sorry for how I treated you,” he finally staid and I shook my head with a soft smile.

 

“It’s fine. I understand why you acted the way you did,” I answered, my voice breaking. I took a ragged breath to try and steady myself.

 

“Are you okay?” I finally broke and shook my head as the tears fell from my eyes.

 

“No.”

 

I rested my head on his shoulder and cried heavily. Sobs racked my body as my tears soaked the fabric of Renji’s shihakusho. Renji tensed and awkwardly placed a hand on my back. I gripped the front of his shihakusho tightly, my knuckles aching from the pressure I’d used. “He’s really gone, isn’t he?” Renji flinched.

 

“What are you talking about?” he asked, sounding surprised by my question.

 

“Where is my brother?” I asked, looking up at Renji. “I don’t see him in that captain.”

 

“He’s there, I promise you.”

 

“Then who’s the one in control? My brother or your captain?”

 

“Captain Hitsugaya was always like that. It was probably one of the few things we Soul Reapers could count on. Now that he’s back to his old self, he has the same limitations he had before. What you saw in your brother was a side of Captain Hitsugaya that the rest of us never had a chance to see,” he explained.

 

“So I’ll never have Toshiro back again.” Renji pulled me away from himself and placed his hands firmly on my shoulders, staring directly into my eyes.

 

“Don’t be stupid, Minako. You had too big an impact on the kid for you to lose him.” I wiped the tears from my eyes, though that didn’t stop more from falling.

 

“Thank you, Renji,” I whispered before pulling away from him and walking down the hall, to my room.

_________________________________________________

 

As Toshiro Hitsugaya walked through the streets of Seireitei with Rangiku, he noticed the many stares he received from the other Soul Reapers. Many of them were people he’d never met, but seen in passing. Whispers permeated the air, all involving the phrases ‘really him’, ‘supposed to be dead’, and ‘ten years’. Hitsugaya had to admit, he would’ve had the same reaction had he been in their place.

 

“Captain Hitsugaya?” someone asked. The captain in question turned to see the familiar face of a bald man with a lust for battle. He was Ikkaku Madarame. “Well, I’ll be damned. Where’ve you been for the past ten years?”

 

“Living,” Hitsugaya answered simply, a slight smirk on his lips.

 

“Why didn’t the rest of us hear about it?”

 

“It was meant to be kept secret,” Rangiku answered. “So he’d be better protected.”

 

“Well, it’s good to have you back. You should go see Captain Hinamori.”

 

Hitsugaya nodded, thinking back to his childhood friend. She’d sounded devastated when he was killed by Aizen. It sounded as though she’d done well for herself, perhaps giving up on the notion that Aizen was still good. Hitsugaya sighed; he could only hope. As he and Rangiku neared the area of the Fifth Division, more whispers and stares came. A few people even ran ahead, presumably to give their captain the news. When they came to the building in which the captains’ office was held, a young woman could be seen already waiting outside. She was thin, pale and of average height, though that still left her taller than Hitsugaya. Her black hair was held in a bun atop her head and she looked very much like the young woman Hitsugaya had always known. The only differences he could see were the captain’s haori over her shoulders and the lack of naivety in her eyes. Those eyes were wide in shock and filled with tears.

 

“Shiro-chan, is that really you?” she asked shakily. Hitsugaya gave her a small, friendly smile.

 

“I told you, it’s Captain Hitsugaya now,” he answered and Momo Hinamori smiled, wiping her eyes.

 

“It is you.”

 

“Of course. I see you’re doing well, Captain Hinamori.”

 

“It’s Momo to you,” she answered with a grin.