As you state, "This is mostly just venting," becomes obvious after the line: "I will never let you into my life again." Before hand it would feel you're asking for sympathy from the reader and from who this was inspire from. However, the last stanza leaves me to feel that deep down you will always have feeling for him/her.
Theme: Anger/release from being in an emotionally neglectful relationship.
Form: Is choppy and actually needs to be worked on because it takes away from the emotional state I believe you're trying to convey. You go from blank verse to free verse. You should choose one and stay with it to make it more sound and punctual. However, there is a chaotic feel to it; which is great because it shows the emotional rollercoaster of how those teenage relationships go. You do this by couplet/quatrain stanzas.
You do have some alliteration and consonance in some of the word choice that allows the poem to smooth out with feeling and understanding. Otherwise it lacks other conventional figures of speech; metaphor, simile, imagery.
Best lines: “I gave you your chances.
You gave me your answers.”
When it is time to end. Best to finish with people who use and abuse. Life is hard enough. We need good people around us. Poem is sad and powerful. Your ending was perfect.
Coyote
Venting is always helpful. In my personal opinion, you should never forget the memories you have created with another because at one point in your life, those memories meant everything to you. Once again, another amazing write =]
Posted 14 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
This is a good poem. Chaos in your writing is perfect for a venting piece. I would suggest you just look at the last stanza. Seems to clash with the rest of the piece.
Originally my poems were meant to be inspirational. Althought, as of late they have become more of a venting outlet. I think I need to sort out some problems of my own before I can help others with th.. more..