Tearing Down the Walls Chapter 3

 

      Jane was glad to "safe" no more beatings and she didn't have to worry about her stepfather wanting her to get in bed with him, but now Jane was wondering if her mother was even thinking about her and Jim. While Jane was sitting there wondering about her mother she hears her grandmother holler "your dad don't pay me enough to take care of you" then she looked at Jane and once again told Jane all about how fat she was but this time she started telling her that she was worthless and she would never have a man that wanted her and if a man did want her then he would be nothing but a piece of s**t. Jane started hearing that on a regular basis, when Jane was 14 her grandmother decided that 105 lbs. was too fat for Jane to be and put her on a starvation diet.

   

    Jane now didn't eat anything for three days straight and was extremely hungry so that night she decided to eat a carrot, until her grandmother caught her and told her that she knew she couldn't do it she didn't have the will power so Jane threw the carrot away feeling guilty. Jane was proud of herself when she had made it a week without eating, she thought she was doing good on her diet she didn't know that she had become Anorexic. When Jane had made it another week on her diet she was even happier until she was heading to class which was on the second floor and all of a sudden she felt real weak and the next thing she knew she was lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs she had passed out from no food.

 

    When everyone got Jane taken to the nurse Jane tried her hardest to lie about it and told them that she had no Idea why she passed out and tried to convince them that she had just been extremely tired. Jane thought they bought it but her friends I think had a hunch that something was up.

 

    After Jane had fallen down the stairs her friends noticed that they never see her eat anymore, so they started asking her if she was going to eat any lunch her response would always be the same though she would always tell them "no I'm not really hungry today" this had her friends worried but Anorexia was not real common then people had just started hearing about it so they really didn't know how to help Jane. Once again Jane had fought through years of that and when she turned 16 she was excited now she could date, so she thought. Jane was asked out on  a date one night when she got home from school she immediately ran up to the house and asked her grandmother if she could go out on the date that night, but her grandmother said no because if the guy wanted to go out on a date with her then that meant he was a piece of s**t to want her and if she were to go out on this date or any date then she would come back pregnant since she was nothing but a fluzie, even though she was still a virgin it didn't matter because Jane was always compared to her mother. After that Jane started to get a little rebellious until she was finally told that if she wanted to go and live with her other grandmother then she could.

 

    Jane had jumped on the offer to go and live with her other grandmother. When Jane finally got to move in with her other grandmother everything had changed it was like her life did a complete 180 she could now go where she wanted and do what she wanted. Jane had now started partying, she never knew that someone could have so much fun. She started getting drunk everyday, she would skip class, nothing really mattered  anymore except partying and she was still feeling like she needed to lose weight. Jane was having a blast but she was now eating a little bit to get her friends off her back but when she ate she would always feel guilty about eating and tell her friends that she needed to use the restroom. Jane's partying also got worse since she had never been allowed out she was having too much fun to care. Jane's best friend bought her some alcohol for her 17th birthday and called Jane's best friends boyfriend to come over and party. They ended up going to his house to get drunk and one of his friends had shown up. By the time Jane was done she was too drunk to think about this guy she was now kissing on but she didn't really know who he was. The next morning she found out his name was Dwayne and apparently sometime the night before he had asked Jane to go out with him.

 

    Jane had plans to go out with Dwayne the following weekend and she was excited it was going to be her first date ever. It was a long week as Jane waited for the night she was going to go on her date asking her best friend all kinds of questions like what do I wear, if he asks where should I say I want to go. The night of her date finally came and she was extremely nervous, when he got there he looked at Jane and told her how beautiful she was. When he asked her where she wanted to go she made sure not to say anything about dinner since she didn't want to eat so they went skating. They skated for a few hours until Dwayne asked Jane if she was ready to head somewhere else. Sure said Jane being naive since it was her first date he asked her if she wanted to back to his place and talk, Jane of course said yes so that she could get to know him better. When they got back to his place Jane had then found out what he meant by go back to his place and talk but she wasn't ready to take that step she wanted to keep her virginity and not give it away to someone she just met. Jane explained to Dwayne that she was still a virgin and wasn't ready yet, he thanked her for being honest with him but his thanks meant nothing since he wanted what Jane wouldn't give him.