Intimacy

Tracing a line from hair, to forehead, to eyes and locking contact. Breaking free and blushing.

Needles rooted flowing growth light ruby red for
Orange god of continuity’s frown
Follicles born end in luminescent piercing
Shades of chalked flesh that want to collar your descent.
Lick globes as skin closes; horizon
Emanating child’s oblivion
Following crystalline purity.
Tendency to self-immolate.

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you for even taking your time to read this.

Reviews

[drcornelius]

I like much of your phrasing. It is very lyrical. I notice that both this piece and Filth are not very accessible to the reader. While it is true that the artist must be true to self, it is also true that communication is a two person process. If the reader doesn't know what to do with the piece, no communication happens. You might want to explore making your work a bit more accessible without losing the personal magic. A daunting task sometimes. I wish you the best in your writing and in your living.

[Fiosh]

Thank you for taking your time to read my works!
I do totally agree with your statement regarding the accessibility to the reader, although I write like this because I do not like talking about my feelings and prefer it to be cryptic, I would still like to work towards making things a little easier to connect with.

Thank you very much, all the best for you too.

[Tessa Melendez]

Interesting. This is the first time I've read a piece written like this. I like the thoughtful tone to the piece and the semi-strange imagery included in the piece. Good job. :) Welcome to writerscafe.

[Fiosh]

Thank you so much, there are definitely flaws I'm sure, but thank you. I hope to get better and hone my diction/syntax a bit.

I appreciate the review a lot.

[Tessa Melendez]

You're welcome.