Prologue

It was the summer of my 16th birthday and I was getting ready for my big super sweet sixteen birthday bash. All my friends were on their way, decorations were up and the music was pumping real hard. I had on a bright pink dress, the most cliche outfit ever especially for this particular event, but I didn't care. I was finally sixteen now and that's all that mattered. Little did I know that in a few minutes that would change.

"Kay-lee," a voice shouted, disturbing my thoughts. I turned around and a huge smile automatically appeared on my face as I spotted my boyfriend across my lawn with a huge present in his hands. I ran over to him and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"Omg Blaine, this is huge! What's inside?"

"Like I'm going to tell you that" he said rolling his eyes mockingly. I nudged him with my elbow and reached for the bow on the top. But he stopped me.

"Nope. Not yet. Party now, presents later"

"Oh alright," I said sadly and he laughed. 

"You go for the champagnes in the refrigerator and I'll go give the security the guest list"

"Okay sure," he answered and walked off. I took up the plack board with the names of the invited persons on it and headed to the security stand at the gate. I handed it to him and skipped my way back up.

"Good luck on your party," a truck driver on his way out yelled at me.

"Thanks," I answered waving, wasn't too sure what he was for. Maybe he carried the sound system, I don't know, my dad planned the whole thing.

"Oh and by the way, Happy Birthday"

"Thanks again." I smiled and he nodded. But before I could even catch another breath, yet another step, a pair of hands grabbed me from behind and a cloth came over my nose. I tried to struggle free and scream but it was no use. The more I inhaled was the more sleepy and nauseous I became. Suddenly my limbs went weak and all the fight went out of me. Next thing I felt was being lifted into the air and something hard against my back. And after that, nothing...

Reviews

[RAOrourke]

Overall, I think this was wonderful. You really were descriptive in your scenes which really pulls the reader into the story. Great anticipation is built here! Great job...Only noticed two very minor or personal choices:
The more I inhaled was the more sleepy and nauseous I became....I would change this to The more I inhaled the sleepier and more nauseated I became, or tweak it however you would like to make the flow better.
Also, the last sentence I would change to After that, nothing...

[Novelist101]

Thank you guys sooo much. It really helped. Let me know more. I'm uploading the rest now.

[Vawn]

Very nice prologue! No real issues for me at least (Not really too good at grammar myself) The attention grabber on the very last paragraph was brilliantly done. It left the reader wanting to know more.

@RAOrourke already pointed out that helpful tip about the very last paragraph, so no need to say anything further.