Premature ending.

As they took away my pride and robbed me of my meaning I wept for the loss I could not feel.

Suffocating sheets surround
a barren waste of space,
sterilized walls.
Restrain female disgrace.

Invisible ribbon bond
that pulsed with naive hope.
Now abandoned,
shattered upon the floor.

Along with future dreams
femininity is lost.
Without this life
what do I have to give?

Scared of leaving this place,
the security made
between the walls,
will not follow me out.

So stripped bare of my pride,
I return to gray walls.
The death of her
is forever present.

On the blood-stained floors
of untainted fancy.
What used my insides
as home, has been torn.

Likewise I rip myself
into two blank sheets,
O cruelty has
taken my porcelain self.

Reviews

[David W Moore III]

Interesting. Seemingly straightforward, but an undercurrent of complexity threatens like a riptide to pull us under. The imagery is not overstriving, but builds upon itself nicely in a desolate way. The pain and sadness is overwhelmingly apparent. And I, like serial kisser love the wording 'what used my insides...'

[It Broke Me]

‘Likewise I rip myself
into two blank sheets,
O cruelty has
taken my porcelain self.’

That to me is the best part of the poem. I think we all feel, at some point, like sheets of paper that should be torn in two and discarded. Who knows? maybe that is what we need.

[J.M]

Such tangible and yet inaccessible agony - you know the pain but can't feel it - it haunts you but you can't reach it. The inescapable power of a tormented mind that makes you hide behind a mask of starched normality. This is another marvellous piece by you but once again I must say that I believe the ending to be my favourite - such powerful words.

[Christi Moon]

this is powerful. the agony is palpable. your depiction of this most unimaginable grief is stellar. really punched me in the guts. well done.

[Christie Moses]

Blindingly beautiful in its pain, and sorrow. So barren and aching....leaves a lump in my throat and a nodding, as if I feel the emotions here myself.

[light and ashes]

The last three stanzas are my favorite. You really captured the feeling of a piece of oneself dieing or being left behind. The aching and pain in this is heard throughout it. This is well written and a beautiful poem.

[Jeremy Baker]

You do immense justice to the pain that underscores this work. Its power comes not from its images alone, but from its authenticity. There are a few ways of accessing this work and all of them make me shudder, even though I enjoyed reading it again and again. Beautiful and intense, and simply excellent writing!

[Abigail T]

i have never had the misfortune to feel this way, but your writing has struck my heart. the way you weave this vivid and sad tale moves me beyond words (and yet i must write a review). such power and honesty and nakedness throughout this piece that i wish i could reach out and touch, just to feel it for a second. thank you very much for sharing.

[KrisK]

Vivid intensity. A sad, moving flow of images in words. I think this poem has excellent flow and and imagery. "O cruelty has taken my porcelain self"...profound.