Carpe Lunae.4. Last!

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 Road to redemption.4.

 John arrived home to find a blank stare upon my face and a joint in one hand. He started to scream at me telling me I was killing the baby and myself. But once again I didn’t care. I considered telling him we were having two babies. Maybe it would have made a difference. One boy and one girl but I decided tomorrow was better. I screamed back telling him it was his fault for ever meeting me. I huffed out the door too angry to look at him. He came after me just like I secretly wanted him to. He screamed at me if it was his fault that he fell in love with me and that he needed me. But being a moody pregnant b***h. I told him I didn’t love him so I didn’t care. That was the single biggest lie I had ever told. I loved him and I needed him more then he would ever know. He grabbed me by the shoulders but I pulled away. But I pulled to fast all of a sudden I lost my balance and collided with the cold ceramic of the stairs.

Before I knew what was going on all I saw was black.

John
I called an ambulance. Frantic. That’s all I was at that point. Guilt devoured me as I sat in the waiting room. They told me an immediate c-section was needed for the babies. Yes babies. As in more than one. I could have just killed my family by a stupid accident. They told me to stay calm. HOW THE F**K COULD I STAY CALM?? Exactly.  After three hours of waiting the doctor came outside. I’m sorry but we couldn’t save your wife. Would you like to see your twins? My heart was ripped right out as my worst fear became real. My Emma was gone. Gone. As in never coming back all because of me. I gathered myself enough to go see the twins. I signed their birth certificates. But I had forgotten the date, I asked the doctor and he told me. It was the middle of March. It was a Monday.

 They were beautiful just like their mother. I named our baby girl Emma Jude Dawson after her mother and her mother’s friend and I named our little baby boy Aiden Blaze Dawson after my father and his mother’s other close friend. I tried to get in contact with Emma’s family to tell them about the funeral but they never showed. It’s okay she was too good for them. I wondered what they would have thought if they had come and read on her tomb stone that she was a beloved wife, friend, mother, and daughter. Maybe they would have been proud. Now I’ll never know. We held her funeral a week after the accident and a week after the twin’s birth. It was on our anniversary. The Monday we first met. And if you were to ask me why I wrote this for her. I would tell you I didn’t write most of it. She wrote most of it. I just finished it for her to tell her story. I always thought she would make a great writer. She never believed me. And if you were to ask me if I regretted meeting her that Monday in March I would tell you no. She saved my life.