Carpe Lunae.3.

Third chapter:) Enjoy,comment,message!

Broken promises.3.

You know how women say they know when they’re pregnant because of a feeling? Well they’re f*****g liars too. I went three months before the doctor finally confirmed I was pregnant with that a******s child. Last time I had seen him was at some club lifting other girl’s skirts. I told him a week afterwards. It was a Monday. He screamed at me for not using protection then I screamed at him for always being drunk. Then we cried together knowing things would defiantly get worse. And then we fell asleep ignoring the truth we both could not handle. It was the fifth month when I finally decided to tell my mother, I only told her because I was starting to show. Yes I and the b*****d decided to keep this little life growing inside of me. I was somewhat scared of her reaction. And I was right to be. She screamed at me telling me that my son or daughter was a b*****d and that I was a w***e. She told me to abort it or I could not live in her house. And so I packed up my bags and left. I tried calling my father but guess what?! His line was busy. Who cares? Then I tried to call my brother. But his phone was off. At this point a rational and normal person would call their friends. But seeing as I had none I resorted to go live with my disgusting boyfriend in his s**t hole of an apartment. After a month he decided it would be good for me to go to rehab for the baby. And to be a good little girlfriend I did. But man did I f*****g hate it. People in my high school found out and made fun of me. My “friends” looked down upon me and my teachers thought of me as weak and pathetic. Which I was.

On one of our nights John proposed. Crazy I know but I pretended to ignore him. He told me he loved me and that this baby would save our relationship. I thought it was bullshit, a baby shouldn’t be brought into this world with a job but I agreed anyways. We got my father to sign the papers seeing as I was still a minor and soon we we’re married; it was quicker than making our baby.
At school thing’s had gone from bad to worse I heard constant whispers as I walked the halls. “Fifteen and pregnant? What a w***e.” But at least John was going through the same thing. My life became yet another miserable routine. No longer was it an innocent boring routine but an out of control drugged up party girl gone pregnant by her no good boyfriend routine. It consisted  of waking up, going to school, eating lunch, making dinner, eating with John and making small talk, having sex, then sleeping till the next day when it began all over again.
Another month went by. My stomach was as big as a mammoth’s a*s.
My monthly baby check-up’s were the only highlights of my life now. I somewhat resented John for shaping my life into this hell but I couldn’t just put all the blame on him. I just wanted to feel loved.
I had grown quite attached to the baby no matter how many dirty looks I got.  It was the same stares that greeted me in the waiting office.
Leila the secretary greeted me with her obvious fake smile. Hi Emma just take a seat and Mr. Goldstein will come out to get you she spoke with such disgust dripping from every word. Hey at least she didn’t lie because soon after he did just that.
Mr. Goldstein was a young doctor. Handsome to.
Hello Ms. Dawson, do you want to know the sex of the baby yet? How’s John?? You have gotten sickly pale are you eating alright?
His concern for me was adorable. I had grown quite attached to him as well.
I answered his questions with ease. Except for the sex of the baby. Did I want to know? Well I guess why not.
So he proceeded to put some cold jelly stuff on my belly and got me an ultrasound.
He moved it around for a while. Soon after a confused face formed on his face. And that’s when I found out I wasn’t having one kid I was having two. One boy and one girl.
Twins. Twins. Twins. Twins. He congratulated me thinking I would feel joy but all I felt was fright. My life had gone to hell all because of John. I wanted to be a writer to tell great tales and now I couldn’t. There were so many things I wanted to do but my life was wrecked.
Twins. That word kept replaying in my head over and over again. I left the clinic in a daze. I needed a smoke, a drink, a puff. I needed something to make me feel numb. Being numb was a feeling I hadn’t felt in just over eight months. I needed it.
And so I went home and smoked up.
Time flew by without me thinking about the baby and how John would react. It was very selfish of me but I didn’t care I would soon find out the consequences to my actions. I really needed a drink. Now.