Goodbye My Lover

This is a vampire love story. Only one character I am posting. Not sure I will keep it here. I hope you enjoy

Darlene

I cannot remember exactly the moment when I felt it. It was a small thing barely noticeable, but it was there. The feeling that this is not all there is. I was sitting in a hotel lounge having lunch with Penny and Colt. We decided that we needed to celebrate our win by crushing Judia and his team.

"Did you see their faces when the CEO announced that they were awarding us the opportunity to pitch to the new client of Xercetancial ?" Penny said raising the overdone fry to her mouth.

"Of course, we did. We were sitting right next to you. What was really gratifying was his coloring." Colt said.

"His coloring?"

"Yes, he went from pink to crimson to ashen white in a matter of minutes. I thought he was about to faint right then and there."

The three of us laughed because it was true. I was enjoying my time with them, but I was not fully present. My mind kept flying ahead of me and I need to embrace the now. I decided to go to the counter to get a refill on my drink. The woman at the counter was no longer there. Instead, a man wearing a white shirt, black pants and a name tag that said, "No."

"Does your name tag say, No?" I giggled as I asked.

"Do you believe everything that you see?" The man asked without looking at me once.

Was he serious? "It clearly states on the name tag No. So, I believe what I am seeing at this moment." I know I sound annoyed, but I did not like being patronized.

He looked up and I realized who I was talking to. I looked out the window and it was dark. Penny and Colt kept talking as if the sun was still up. I looked back at him, and he looked normal. Except he had a nicely trimmed and thin lined beard. It looked elegant if you can call facial hair that.

"You believe my name is No, instead of asking me if that is truly my name." He said as he leaned in a bit, I smell something very succulent.

"Well, what is your name?"

"Noel." He said and took my cup from my hand. His fingers grazed mine and it felt like a feather. As his back was turned, I looked at him. Why was he working here? His kind never come this far into the city from what I heard. He turned back and placed the cup on the counter.

"Well Noel you need a new name tag or else everyone will call you No."

He smiled and I got a quick glimpse of his teeth. My breath caught at the sight.

"I will make sure I will get a new name tag. Have a nice night." He said to me. I finally got the courage to look into his eyes and he turned away. I took my cup and another customer behind me sighed so loudly that I was sure they could hear her outside.

I quickly walked back to the table and they both looked at me stunned.

"What?"

"You just talked to Noel."

"Yeah. He was a bit snotty if you ask me."

"Snotty? What century are you in, Darlene?" Colt asked with his eyebrows pinched together." Never mind that. Noel owns this place, and he does not talk to anyone, but he talked to you."

"He's the owner?" I slouched down in my seat. "I just insulted the owner."

"YOU DID WHAT" they both said in unison.

"Yeah, I told him that he needs to get a new name tag that did not say No on it."

They both looked at each other as if they were communicating in their minds.

"Please speak."

"He is not going to change the name tag because young women and men tend to try to pick him up and he points to the name tag." Penny said as if it was common knowledge.

"Why don't we just go. It's late and I need to wake up early tomorrow." They agreed to leave but I felt that strange feeling again. I looked at the counter and woman wearing two ponytails was there.

"Where did he go?" I whispered.

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Noel

I didn't want to speak to her. I was waiting for Sammy to start, and she wanted a refill. Once she started with the name tag, I planned to shut her down but the air. The damn scent that lingered on the air had me look up.

She looked like the normal lighties. Her hair was dyed a horrific shade of blonde. She should get her money back and she wore a lip stick shade that was meant for her grandmother. Not a woman her age. I quickly glanced at her, and she wore a business suit that was not flattering. Everything about her seemed off. Like a person trying to fill the shoes of someone that has long passed from this world.

As the conversation progressed, I could tell she was hiding something by pretending. I leaned in to see if she would react to me and she did. Her pupils dilated a bit, and her pulse sped but she continued to play it cool. When she finally left, I heard one of them say her name, Darlene.

I shook my head. She has obviously not been with our kind and by the way she acted she wouldn't.

"Sorry for being late. Melba would not fall asleep, and my mom came late to sit her for me." Sammy said.

Sammy is a terrible liar. She was in bed with someone and could not make it here on time because of it. I nodded my head and went to the back. She was a good worker, and she needed the money so I will let it slide this time.

My mind went to the woman at the counter. Why is she on my mind? I need to eat. That had to be the explanation. I grabbed my coat and left. The club is over a mile away and I can get what I need and be back before the late-night rush.

Reviews

[Twilight]

I have various observations about this piece. It would be better, if arranged in paragraphs. And, to include descriptions about what the different characters look like. It starts with"I", which could refer to anybody; and there's no background about who any of the characters are. And, nothing about vampirism. Although, that's because you've only just started writing it; you'd probably say to that? I have posted several vampire stories of my own, on this site. On a more positive note, your characters did come across as seeming like actual people; in terms of the chosen dialogue. And, how they interacted seemed reasonably credible. I do want you to keep trying, at writing this piece. At the very start, type and introduction or background. After that, create chapters; as part of dividing up what happens in your story..? Unless, you're only trying to keep this as a short story..(without trying harder)?

[Fia Naturie]

I have broken it up, so it is easier to read and Put the point of view who is the main character at the top. Will decide what I am doing with this.
Thank you, Twilight,