It Hurts So Good.

All I want is for it to stop
Make it stop make it stop make it stop, BUT
It never stops, not truly
Maybe a little subsiding for a while, it never lasts, dear
As the morning never lasts before it fades to the darkness
So my heart is not always beating in the rhythm of life

Nails sharp as knives slicing through just-healed skin
Scars and scabs thrown aside because you have to keep digging
It's in there somewhere I know it is I just know
I have to keep looking; somewhere in those cursed veins
Is the sanity and innocence I so dearly long for

But I can't find it
Where did it all go?
And oh, look, there's the blood again
Is it even real? Or am I just seeing things again?
She looked me in the eyes and hated me
I'm not crazy I swear I'm not crazy I promised her

But I am crazy
I'm insane
I know it and I know there's no turning back

Keep wandering through the cold nights singing to the moon
And asking the stars to fall and implode what's left of my head
Tired eyes and duller sight, trembling fingertips
Nails stained red because they took my precious shiny thing
That once brought me so much joy but they said it was hurting me
I said no you're crazy you're all crazy
But then they looked me in the eyes and said
No, you're the crazy one

I am not crazy, love. I am insane.

Author's Note

Written in the midst of a breakdown. I hate my borderline personality disorder, but it does bring up some... interesting poetry.

Reviews

[Charity]

this is very interesting...the feeling of being insane and different and wishing to the stars and moon...love it!