Riding the Wind

Turning suicide into beauty. Have fun mulling that over.

Kinetic energy. She would be full of it today. The skies were blue and unclouded. The sun shown bright and warm. Everyone was out. She watched them. High atop one of many pockmarks in the city, Kari stood on the roof of a skyscraper watching the cars fly by. They created a breeze upward which she thoroughly enjoyed. Today was a day of meaning.

Kari had the plugs of her iPod jammed deep into her ears. She thought it funny how she hated the device and never used it until today. A list of songs she always loved were on a play list. Everything from jazz to pop to death metal to classical and some places in between. While David Bowie sang "Hold On To Yourself" she laughed and sat on the ledge of the building writing letters and tossing them from her haven.

She wondered if anyone would ever get them. As she watched the white patch float down, down, down, she noticed they never hit the street. The wind would catch them. The air current from the day, which was blowing northwest, would catch them first. As they got closer to the ground, the current from traffic would catch them next, shooting them straight up then northwest and down then straight up. It fascinated her.

Kari lost sight of the letter she had written to her mother. As the Beatles came in singing "Come Together" she put her pen to the blank sheet of paper and began writing a letter to her brother.
       Dillan,
             For the longest time I never thought we would get along. Through the beatings of my childhood to the tattling and crying I did to get you in trouble only to make you beat me up more, I thought we were in a vicious circle. When I found out all the things you did on my behalf while I was still in school, I cried. Not out of frustration or anger, but out of pride and appreciation. I stopped being such a b***h after that and I know you knew why. After all the bullshit you let me in and became my friend. My confidant. Out of everyone in the family, you're my favorite. I love you with all my heart.
    -Kari

She tore out the piece of paper and watched it dance down. All the letters made her smile. She knew everyone she would write to already knew what she had to say. She never really told them these things and never really meant to. She just thought it was nice to see it written down formally. It didn't really matter that they wouldn't read them. It was all just part of the meaning of her day.

Kari sat for hours. Writing, dropping, listening, smiling, watching. The excitement and anxiety of everything was pressing down on her, making her tremble. She had one more letter to write and addressed it: To Whom It May Concern. She took her time on it. She wrote it and rewrote it, trying to get everything in that she wanted in to contain. When she was done, Kari held it to her and smiled. She leaned over slightly, letting the wind blow against her face.

Etta James began to sing "At Last". Kari stood up and dropped the letter. She lifted her arms out to her sides and tilted her head to the sun. She breathed in heavily, taking in the beauty of the world. Her heart pounded against her rib cage and she felt her face flush and as she looked down to monitor the progress of her letter she laughed. Kari turned on her heel and leaned back. She didn't dance as all the bits of paper did, but she smiled the whole way down.

To Whom It May Concern:

I am not unhappy with my life. I have a wonderful life. I have friends and family and a decent paying job. Why did we have to watch as the paramedics pulled the pieces of you out of that man's windshield? I know that's what you're asking since you found and read three sentences of this letter. Have you ever had a really bad day and wanted to swerve into oncoming traffic? Everyone has, but you never do it. Instead you scream and you cry and you swear and jam your foot onto the gas just to get it all out. You feel better when you do it. We all feel better after something like that.

Have you ever done that while it's raining and when you press the gas too quickly, you temporarily lose control and fishtail? It scares you. You think: I really could have gone into oncoming traffic. At that moment you think of every good thing in your life. All your memories. Your achievements and the goals you actually lived up to. In a near death experience you have a rush of adrenaline. That rush plus all the things that just flashed before your eyes make you feel good. They make you feel incredible.

I have done just about everything I've ever wanted to do. I've traveled to distant countries. I finished school and got the job I wanted. I fell in love. I went skinny dipping. I ate ice cream until I threw up. All those things everyone says they want to do before they die, I've been there. Life's gotten stale. I don't want a boring life. I want that rush of adrenaline and wonderful memories. I want music and madness and closure. This is an adventure for me.

I'm watching this note fall knowing that I'll hit the ground long before it reaches me. When you get it, you'll know that I have my reasons for this. While it may be "inconvenient" for you or sad for others, it's a dream for me. Listening to Etta tell me her lonely days are over and life is like a song. The rhythmic crack of my body, the sound of glass smashing, metal crunching, horns blowing, sirens screaming, it's a melody of its own. The song of my last thrill. The song of a story to tell your grandchildren. The song that brought you a fraction of the feeling I had as I came down, down, down and impacted your life. And maybe your car.

Don't be upset or angry or sad. Not everyone commits suicide because they're depressed or selfish. Some of us do it because death is the only thrill we have left and we know we'll touch your life doing it. As my name means, I came on a gust of wind. It didn't take long and it didn't take much, but the end result was colossal. I'm my own personal tornado and, today, I got to be yours.

So the next time you think of turning your wheel a little more to the left, maybe you should? Whatever you choose, have a great life.
     -Kari
PS Here's the number to my life insurance office. Hopefully they'll cover some of the damage I caused during my storm.

Reviews

[Natalie C]

Let me start of by apologizing for getting to this so late. Been swamped lately ;)

Rachel, you just found a way of making death sound "sexy". Sorry your piece made it even more appealing, specially to me!

Ok but seriously now, this really was wonderfully written and quite original with the last letter. The character sounds like a thinker and as you put, definitely not depressed. I don't think I would have thought of something like that if it was me standing on that ledge. Ha Ha

Brilliant imagery, your surroundings vividly described putting your reader in the front row of the events, which I personally loved about this story. You really did put some effort into creating the background and I applaud you for that.

A line that really got to me was
"Today was a day of meaning."

Very thought provoking and could be the bearer of so many other things. You should consider using that line and expanding it into something else in a new piece, I am really interested to see where you would take that.

Overall a brilliant read and I can't wait to see what you come up with next!