A Foreign Feeling

I finally got around to writing something new. It's based on the way I've been feeling lately. It's free verse as well, which I don't do much.

An unknown hand tries to grab my thoughts away
My fear rises and and a knot in my stomach forms
The fear sits in that knot and lingers throughout
I see myself alone and cracked all over

My body remembers a time of being full
Those cracks once fixed along with my soul
My heart had beat with enjoyment of life then
Now the feeling I've got keeps it alive

An indescribable feeling that only brings pain
Shocks throughout my body and suicidal thoughts racing
My mind looking for a happiness that is no longer there
I wait for it and it never comes

I am faced to watch such a terrible being
A terrible monster that does not give room to hide
I stand alone and afraid to fight this being
Alone...? Breaking...? Watching...? Waiting...?

Why am I so alone here now?
How come I am breaking all over again?
What is it that I am watching here?
When will all this waiting be over?
Alone...? Breaking...? Watching...? Waiting...?

What is bothering me so badly?
I am hurt, but for what reason?
It feels like there is something I can no longer have
As I wait in wonder I hope that something can be saved

What is bothering me?...