Granite Man

a piece of self-admission

Standing, edge of cliff so sheer

Peering toward the vast

Churning blue, and foam recede

Lessons, of the past.

Project my soul, this vertical wall

That shields the tender land

From erosion of the Tempest Wind

Yet carves the Granite man. 

Beneath, as passions tremble

And curl about the form

Slowly abrade patina-soft

In forecast of the storm.

Adjacent to these weathered friends

Lie memories of the gale,

When weakness overcame me�"

Another love, I failed.

Resting bitter, jagged, waiting

To rest my skin upon�"

Accepting vengeance’ laceration,

Exposed--within each dawn.

 

I, spun in ego�"unyielding�"

Deny the right to view,

The fissures gape internally

Kept away from you.

Igneous veneered viscera�"

With pulse upon command�"

And words that knew such timelessness

As footprints in the sand.

Yet vertical and tall I’ll reach

Defy natural decay�"

Deeming that my wit prevails

With death I may persuade.

In Time, such shroud consumes me

I will have died before�"

Legacies of ignorance�"

I’ve offered nothing more.

Granite man is born of fire;

And this, his only sin:

Striking flint and flesh as one,

Igniting from within.

Reviews

[LadyNaida]

And words that knew such timelessness
As footprints in the sand.

I love this part!

[cartera]

Good melancholic tone held throughout with good use of apt phrases and word choices. The metaphor is well-worked. Left one with a sad feeling.
ATB
Alex.

[SM Davis]

Legacies of ignorance"
I’ve offered nothing more.

Loved that! Nice write, great balance.

[DiMar4u]

this piece took ahold of me, very personal,
steeped with meaning, it brings a smile, strangely,
as though two worlds could arrive at the same
revelation, struggling to breath the same air....
i suppose it's not nearly as unlikely as i once imagined--

[Jazique]

Complex and beautiful is right as to "igniting from within" Excellent job.

[Lucia Morgan]

*sigh* beautiful and complex. beautiful.

[emmajoy]

Your title nudged various thoughts before I read the poem, wasn't sure what lay ahead. But quite soon found a space into someone's shadow, a place where he hides himself hurt, fragile. I could be wrong, often am, but feel this Man has become Granite because of a long weary. battling past, and the need to protect himself

Also - just a thought, this might be about a great granite mountain that's withstood centuries of ages, been scarred by them, eroded by them, etc. could even be a volcano .. 'igniting from within'. Now i'm having second thoughts, need to return and re-read!

A complex, finely written poem, with superb imagery and technical awareness.

[FireWoman]

This flowed eloquently with a palatable cadence that gave way to a heart beat of emotion.

[Richard Williams]

Fine poetic expression.

[HorrorMaster]

Very good