Tears

Its dark but I can see

Clearly where I want to be

I felt my way around

To grab what I need

I stood on the chair and

put my neck through the hole

Reliving my life like I was whole

Seeing my past

Dreaming of the future

Remembering that I still had hope

Hope that life will get better

Hope that my dreams come true

Hope that I could cry again

Then it happened I slipped

From the chair and fell to the air

Struggling to live but my life wasn't there

I couldn't break free

From the grasp of gravity

I couldn't move anymore

But then I felt something quiet warm

A tear jerked down my face streaming my cheek

Like it was a race

A smile, a crooked smile ran across my face

I closed my eyes and accepted my fate

I was happy in the end as my life slipped away

My tears were mine and only mine to claim

Reviews

[redzone]

It's a brave poem Nicolas. You look at what a life means, our hopes, our dream, just wanting to feel .. living in this society often leaves us hollow and empty.


I have a suggestion. Do you really need "from the chair??" And what do you think about having "i slipped " as a seperate line?? Just a few suggestions.

I enjoyed reading your poem. ~~redzone

[nicolas taylor carlin]

Thank you POPOP that means a lot to me and I will look into bettering my forms in my next poems
read moreThank you POPOP that means a lot to me and I will look into bettering my forms in my next poems

[KanaDream]

This is a very powerful poem... Starting out with the intent and then remembering hope... but by then it's too late... It really impacts the reader right up to the end where there's a shred of acceptance and a twisted end. Very nice. Keep Dreaming.

[nicolas taylor carlin]

Thank youu

[Perkele.7885]

This is a great poem of unintentional suicide. Kind of a sad way to go, snapping your neck in a hole like that. But then.the whole idea of putting it there was a bit sill in the first place.

[nicolas taylor carlin]

Thank you that really means a lot I am glad you think it was good