Chapter Five

A soft hiss came from the surrounding darkness "Cain" Loki's eyes fluttered open briefly before closing again. Cain the hiss spoke again "What do you want?" Loki muttered, his own voice felt foreign, distant, as if it where a ghost speaking in his stead. "It's not your time Cain, rise". "I just want to sleep, I'm so tired, just let me rest here." "It is not yet your time Cain, the reaper cannot claim you yet." "Who is this Cain? My name is Loki, the... Trickster..." "With death you have been tested, and here you have emerged victorious, now take your new name and rise, Cain, the Deceiver." "Cain? But I like Loki...."

"Loki! "LOKI!" Loki's eyes fluttered open "who's there....?" "Grim, its Grim!" "Grim? Oh yes... the ferryman..." and his eyes shut again.

"WAKE UP!" A sudden chill passed through Loki's body "BLOODY 'ELL THATS COLD!" He shot up out of the bed "oh thank god." A relived Grim dropped the bucket he was holding and sighed in relief "What the hell happened to you?" "Its all kind of fuzzy, I remember a demon and a name... Cain, does that mean anything?" "No, well not that I know of." "Well than, ferryman-" a gleaming black dagger was suddenly as his throat "how do you know that name?" "What do you me mate? Ive always known." "Ive never told anyone that name, I abandoned that name after the first war" "first war?, but there was only one!" "No, there were many, many, more...."


"Who's he?" Cronus' scornful gaze fell upon the black cloak that adorned the new figure, "I dunno, but I don't trust him" Atlas' whetstone scraped across the edge of his blade "I cant trust someone who hides his face." Pyrth gave the man a glance then returned to playing with the campfire. "That, dear friends, is the shinigamie" Bakoto said as he took a seat beside the figure "You mean thats the ferryman?, doesn't look like much." "He may not, but you can smell it on him, cant you warmonger? Thats the stench of a being who has killed a forsaken." "So its true than?, he really did kill Prometheus?" "Apparently" Pyrth handed the figure a bowl of soup from the caldron that sat atop the fire, he nodded and drank gratefully. "For someone who doesn't speak, you have good manners" Pyrth remarked as he returned the bowl "Is it true what they say?, did you really kill my Big Brother?" "Leave it Pyrth, you wont get an answer out of-" "yes" the figure cut Cronus off "I did, I apologize, Pyrth, is it?" His voice was deep, ancient "No need to apologize, he attacked you first, besides, I didn't much care for him anyway, But I do have one question for you." "What is your name?" "They call me Grimlock" And with that he fell silent once more.

Blood, there was so much blood, so many corpses, fallen forsaken, the fields were thick with the taste of death and decay, a taste Lock new all to well. He stood back to back with his unit as they carved a path of destruction through what was left of the enemy ranks, Atlas, Cronus, Pyrth, they were all that mattered now, and they were going to live through this. Suddenly, Pyrth collapsed, a bolt stuck in her chest, and that was more than Lock could take. His unit protested as he solemnly broke rank, but he ignored them. Black strands constructed of pure entropy strung themselves from the blade of his scythe, burrowing into its hilt, he muttered three word: "I'm so sorry" and quietly he began to play the morbid harp, singing an unknown lyric,
"To those whom roam the astral plane"
A rumbling arose from the earth around him
"To those whom wander the night"
The air began to vibrate with sheer power
"Rally to me, O lost souls and lend me some of your might"
Rifts began to appear around him, and the ground began to crack, reveling only darkness
"And though I hale from a darkened realm, aid me in saving the light"
The strings began to glow as Lock was shrouded in a cloud of entropy
"Heed the ballad of wayward souls, and wash away the blight!"

It was over in an instant, the rips around Lock expanded, the sun turned black, and beasts arose from the depths, and as soon as they had arrived, they were gone, and the battle was over.

Only his unit remained, everyone else, friend and foe, were gone, left dead in the wake of the beasts. Atlas stained in shock at unfamiliar figure that now stood before him, one that was once his ally, and then fell upon his own sword, Cronus simply collapsed, his mind all but gone, and Pyrth lay dead, empty eyes starring silently at the monster that stood before her, her mouth twisted in an expression of hurt betrayal. Lock collapsed, his scythe clattering to the ground beside him, he muttered one word, "Nevermore", stood up, and walked away.

Author's Note

I would like to thanks M.R. Steiner, cryo chamber really helped me out here, thanks for reading

Reviews

[M.R Steiner]

I'm always happy to convert folks to cryo chamber. when you write in themes like this, it really sets the mood. the only music I know of that's both relaxing and creepy at the same time.

another fun chapter of the story, my only complaint is that some of the speech needs to be broken up when someone else begins to speak. other than that you're really starting to get a handle on setting the mood of each scene. despite the spaceing, each characters voice is clear, but your strength has always been tied up in that :)

also 'a gleaming black dagger was suddenly as his through' is this meant to be 'at his throat'? that was the only real spelling error I could spot though.

keep it up. I'll keep reading. :)

[Wayward Soul]

Thanks for the error report, I'm glad I have at least one person following this story

[M.R Steiner]

it's my experience that its rare to get anything other than a 1st chapter reviewed by most folks. My recommendation is to maybe review and directly ask for feedback on a particular piece by adding a link at the end. I've been doing that myself and often get feedback in return.

to be fair though. I only look for feedback on my style really, the more honest, the better. hence I never really need folks to go past anything other than the first chapter, as my problems are with prose, not narrative or story.

don't let it get ya down, sites like this run as an economy of favours, there's no malice in their oversight, there's just a lot to read and go through to even find after it passes the newly released panel.

try to think of it as a barter system of reviews, seek someone out who looks like he has something you can learn from, leave a couple of reviews and 3 out of 4 times, you get the feedback you specifically ask for.