Elder God

A Poem by Fotis Betsos

An ebony veil covers the sky

I watch myriad diamonds up high

And wonder, Am I the only one looking

Or do the stars stare back?

Waves appear, the water stirs

Like a beast awoken

A monstrous silhouette it reveals,

from times long forgotten

Are you demon or god?

Sent from below or above?

Have you come to redeem?

Or to enslave once again?

Bathed in silver moonlight

Reptilian head, eyes blind.

Rising from a rippling night sea

While the moon throbs with pain

His name my mind remembers

Though I have never seen him before

Hidden deep in fear’s recesses

The Master of times old

Are you demon or god?

Sent from below or above?

Have you come to redeem?

Or to enslave once again?

© 2014 Fotis Betsos

Author's Note

This is my first poem ever. I tried to follow the cosmic horror style and especially H.P Lovecraft, though I cannot certainly achieve his level of english and vocabulary. Please note that english is not my mother tongue so some errors in either grammar or context may exist

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register

Featured Review

Klo Willow

This piece is excellently crafted. The repetition of the following stanza:

Are you demon or god?
Sent from below or above?
Have you come to redeem?
Or to enslave once again?

is strong. It alludes to H.P. Lovecraft's style by establishing the flow of question even though it lacks his flowery language. These questions are the skeleton of the poem, and the details such as "an ebony veil" and "bathed in silver moonlight" flesh it out quite nicely. In particular, the stanza following the first mention of the inquisitive bit that reads

Bathed in silver moonlight
Reptilian head, eyes blind.
Rising from a rippling night sea
While the moon throbs with pain

complements it extraordinarily well. This pairing is what appealed to me the most.

It can inferred that you are not unused to writing poetry as your sparse introductory rhyme seems uncomfortably placed. Adding rhyme is recommended to better ground the piece, but that is a personal preference at best. Regardless, the piece is a delight to read and picture.