Resolutions.

 

Resolutions.

 

Time moves on remorseless yet fresh starts
appear plausible
if with parched discord
we form opportunities from which to carve.

Clearer choices for cutting free expand lone
coaster-rides but tried
ways of surprise
adroitly harness colour into bland unknown.

Distress creates apathy while unrestrained
euphoria decrees
time for growing new wings
and chances to better breed later decades.

Truncated all wistful dreams must retreat 
dry to crisps yet can re-form
and freshly adorned with made
resolutions avoid further stressful defeat.

Hope succeeds if, skilled in competence
we alone apply learning
curves and hear the unheard 
as disposing of old requires no audience.

Pushing ahead, scything new paths again
exalts over former  
raw-angst attempts to alter
past failures if wearing our skin unafraid.

Reviews

[Fay Slimm]

Rather verbose this key to more freedom but hope you read through and enjoy................

[barleygirl]

Fay, I wouldn't say this is verbose . . . there's a perfectly balanced amount of material being conveyed. What makes this feel a little bit heavy in the reading is your use of (1) complex words & (2) passive voice . . . this makes it read like something more cerebral than sensory. I find writing always gets a little heavy when we are too cerebral about our message. You do use some strong imagery to SHOW instead of tell, but overall, it feels more like a THINKING poem. There's nothing wrong with writing in a cerebral way, half the writers do. I'm just observing why one might see this as verbose, but it's not really verbose, just cerebral & analytical, which makes the reader slow down & process every idea, since you convey so much in your complex examination of this topic. I hope that came out right! I don't want to critique you, I'm just observing & sharing how it looks from here! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Fay Slimm]

Grateful thanks Margie for such an intersting and informative review - the thought of the piece being verbose came to me on a last reading just after I posted it but I never worked out the why and your touching on the cerebral answered my why -- the issue is I agree complex and I aimed to slow reads down to think whether the ideas fitted in with differing points of view....... really appreciate your input my friend.