Inside

Whispers patter here and there,
be afraid, be aware.
Running through a tunnel of dreams,
you shall find, nothing is as it seems.
feel the fire breathe the smoke,
taste the blood, begin to choke.

When you dream,
when you sleep,
be afraid,
as the darkness creeps.

See the light,
run for hope.
begin your journey,
then run out of rope.
There we are, here we come,
you cant hide, there is no where to run.

We are you illusion,
your imagery come real.
We are your darkness,
your pole and you reel.

Twisted,
cracked,
crushed,
and sacked.

We have you now,
while you sleep.
you cant escape us now,
for we are what dreams you make.

We haunt you in your own mind,
you chain us up, in hope to not find.
But you can not escape what you are,
for we are never to far.  

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Well done...:)

[C.A.Jordon]

done*

[C.A.Jordon]

very well down i really like the style of your writing..

[Caradoc]

I have to disagree with Daniel below me. I see this as deeply real. What you have here is an excellently worded poem telling the tale of someone haunted by nightmares. This poem speaks of the terror nightmares hold because though you may be able to run and hide from them during the light of day, when you sleep and dream, they return to torment you. This could also be a poem written from the point of view of a schizophrenic person, trapped in their own mind.

There is also great material for dark fantasy in this, in the sense that the dreams, the nightmares, are not mere illusion. Instead they come to life, reflecting the the inner torment of the dreamer. Taken from that stand point this could be a truly terrifying poem.

All in all a great write. Keep it up.

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

Not greatly real to life - too fanciful to be reality - but dramatically written, and good rhyming. an ok effort. daniel

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Tottaly internal busines so the strength is always powerful.......

[K.C. Zbryk]

Very powerful, this dreamscape that you create pulls the reader into it, forcing them to experience, no, face these deamons that wait behind the eyes. Amazing imagry and perfectly captures the question how can you escape inner deamons.

[blueeyeddevel]

This is great! I loved how it started, i loved how it ended. An even while i was in the middle you didn't loose my attention.

[prodicallife]

Fay
absolutly adorable work my sight carved it to a scene of someone fearing of his/her dreams. Or, you may say the dreams haunting the person. The worse thing is the inner deamon when you get to face that the worse tym opf life begins.

please do keep a track of rhyme and spelligs and the flow was haulting at some places i mean the transitions could have been a bit more smoother.
Rest i liked the concept.
beautiful piece of work

Regards
PRODICAL

[NightShade]

Have you ever read something and been "Quickened" by the effect? I just did...

You've crossed the Threshold of Dream Country and brought back the words of living thought-forms. Made solid, the Ethereal and espoused a little recognized Truth.

Obviously, you've received some constructive advice and will, no doubt, make little edits. Careful with those. for instance: you could say "We are your illusion" but that creates the afore mentioned singular/plural conflict. Then again, I read it as "We are You--Illusion" Which, of course, brings in a whole different level of meaning and may or may not be what you wish to convey.

Exquisite concept and nicely done!