The Shadow Murder

"One of my first Short Stories" What madness did he witness? Who was that dark figure?

How did it come to this? The events leading to this moment, this moment of confusion and terror. You’d think me mad for this. Guilty? No! It was that tar figure. I know you don’t believe you, if I was sitting in your place I wouldn't believe me. Maybe I should just start from the beginning. Where is the beginning? I don’t even know. Just give me a minute to think. Did it start a week ago, the first night I didn't sleep? You just want to know the night that it happened. You don’t care why it happened, do you? I doubt you’d be interested in the small details. All you’re looking for is a confession.

I’ll start slow; I want you to know my truth to the events. My name is Edgar. Edgar Olrich. Since I can remember my name does that prove to you that I am capable to explain what happened calmly to you?

So you want to know if I did it. Don’t be stupid. Do I really seem the type? I don’t care if you don’t believe me but this is what really happened:

Three hours it was staring at me. For three long hours of the dark, solemn night I stayed in bed glaring back at it. I looked to my beautiful wife. The feeling of her cold, soothing breath on my arm proved to me that I was awake, conscious, a part of this world. What I saw however defied all this, it defied the nature of this world. You can’t be surprised that I was staring at it with such intent as it stared at me with almost a joyous look upon its faceless visage. You’ll laugh when you hear this, but this is no laughing matter. There was nothing comical about the events which were to unfold.

Staring at me was an inky black figure, human shaped, inside the window at the foot of my bed. It was illuminated by the glow of the full moon, beaming through the glass. It was as if a shadow had been cast upon my bedroom window. Where its eyes were could only see through to the white glow of the moon. This human silhouette black as the emptiness it embodied. It was almost lifeless, just a shape, just darkness on the window. At first I tried to pay no attention to it, but I couldn't sleep knowing that it was there watching me. It was waiting for me to sleep, waiting for me to put my guard down for even a second so it could go about its demonic ways. I was trying to protect my wife, I knew it was dangerous.

I decided to look about my house to see if I could find the puppeteer of this shadow. I left her for only a moment, I wish now I could make that moment longer. I crept down my staircase, trying to avoid waking my wife. The time now was 4:30am. The night was cold and dark, the moon still prominent in the sky. I stepped lightly down to my kitchen. I decided to fix myself a sandwich. If you must know it was nice. I turned around after finishing it and saw in the glass door to my back garden the shadow. Still with a look of joy in its eyes. Still darker than the black of night. Still rotten to its core. I decided to end it there and then. I took a knife from the kitchen and walked towards the shadow. Holding the knife straight at the beings head. I walked closer. The closer I got the colder I felt. My heart beating furiously. I walked closer. As I walked closer the shadow began to move. Its arms stretched out as if welcoming me. A comically large smile appeared on the faceless apparition. I walked closer, until I was facing the ghoul. I took the knife and slashed the window. A big screech came from the scratched glass. The thing still remained there; arms open and still a smile bigger than a clown. Its hand then moved as if pressed up against the window. I moved my hand on the window, on the hand of the monster. Where its hand was felt like a liquid, a very thick liquid.

Then it happened. The liquid of the beast came out of the window and grabbed my arm. I didn't know what was going on. An arm of tar, dripping onto the ground had constricted my arm like a snake and the hand was around my neck, choking me. I felt myself being pulled into the glass. I was being absorbed by that black goo. It pulled me into the glass window. At this point my entire chest, arms and legs were covered. The ooze, the horrid, cold ooze. All I could feel was darkness, a sense of hate poured out from the creature as it violently pulled me into the glass. Naturally I was struggling but it was too late, I had dropped the knife on the floor and then I was completely enveloped by the shadow. I felt cold for a few seconds, and then felt nothing at all. Dark, nothingness had surrounded me. Then my vision slowly came back. At first all I could see was a blur, it looked like a person. I couldn't be sure. Whatever it was it was laying on the floor. As my vision became less blurred I realized that it was a person lying on the floor and more importantly it was me. I could see myself lying on my kitchen floor with a knife beside me. I was staring at myself from the glass window. I was then the shadow in the window. My body then started to move. Twitching at first, as if it didn't know how to use its muscles. Then I as my body got up to its feet, it picked up the kitchen knife I used to defend myself. It then looked at me .I could see emptiness in the eyes of my body. No pupil only a white void where they should be. I knew then that the shadow that was keeping me up at night had taken over my body. As it glared at me a sinister grin of malice came stretched on my bodies face. I didn't know at the time what it was thinking, plotting but I did know that it was evil. It then left the kitchen with the knife in hand. It crept up my stairs. I didn't know how to move I was stuck in the window. Then the next thing I knew I was in my bedroom, where my wife lay fast asleep. He was coming closer to the room. I knew what he was planning, I tried to shout out but my voice didn't leave my thoughts. Then with a look of apathy he entered the bedroom. He looked at me and smiled. He then turned to my wife. I kept trying to shout but my it was useless. Then the monster did it, he slashed the throat of my beloved. She squirmed there staring up at my body in pain. She reached out her hand for help as the blood left her body. All the shadow did was stare as the blood covered him. I couldn't bare it. I was trapped, forced to watch the brutal murder of my wife. My body still didn't move. I will never forget the horror which was my blood soaked wife. All I can think is that I am going to be accused for something that a demon did. My vision then blurred and everything faded away. The next thing I knew I was laying next to her. Lying in a puddle of blood. I screamed in horror. Her last thoughts were “Why would the man I love do this.” I will never forget what happened.

Now that you've heard my part of the story I’m sure you won’t believe me but now that you know what really happened I hope you can understand the grief that consumes me.

Author's Note

Is this believable?
Any comments to improve would be appreciated

Reviews

[Anastasia Rae]

I think you are an excellent writer. this story was very intriguing, even from the beginning. i do have a few suggestions that would help improve the flow of the story. i noticed the story was composed mostly of sentence fragments, or short sentences that could be combined. personally, fragments remind me of stop and go traffic. also, the word "then" is repeated throughout the story, when different transition words would spice it up instead of using the same word. i do like the concept, though, i like where it was going and you are good at painting a picture. i enjoyed reading it and i hope these comments help.

[kimmy]

I am not good with grammar and all that but I can tel you this was a great story, I loved the feeling you get when you are reading and waiting for something to happen...I think I would freak out if it was like a dream and when I came back to my normal self my wife was dead and all I could see is a puddle of blood, hmm the only thing I can think of is a little more detail, like smells and things like that. You have done a great job to me on this piece :)