Piece by Piece You're Taken

The last little part I got my inspiration from Ellen Hopkins from her book Burned

Laying in your bed you count the foot steps, 11 to your room 16 to his. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. The foot steps stop, you hold your breath, hoping he will continue on. The twist of your doorknob, the rustle of your sheets, yet another night you cannot sleep. You lay there until the sun makes an appearance through your blinds, you get up and go to the shower trying to scrub yourself clean, the water turns pink and you still feel dirty, you then think, "Why does this have to happen to me?" You collapse and start sobbing in your bloody water. The smell of him radiates off of you, you still can feel him, you remember the taste of his vile body to this day. Why didn't you fight back, or defend, why didn't you confess to family or a friend? Had his demons claimed your soul? Or was this, as well, a victims role? 

Author's Note

Please don't hold back! write honestly, and thank you for reading by the way!

Reviews

[Luximir]

I really liked the ending, it summed up the piece very well! It felt very emotional and quite depressing, yet it to me almost felt comical. Love the excitement you build and how you great visual words making the event quite realistic. Love it!

[Fatima]

Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Alec]

I've been reading and rereading all of your wonderful poems, and every time no matter how many times I read them I have such a flood of emotion from the messages, the words, the imagery. I can't help but almost be in tears over some of them... You truly have a wonderful and beautiful gift for words and influencing the hearts of those reading them.

[Fatima]

I teared up reading that, thank you so much, you don't understand how much your review means to me.

[songstress]

Your poems truly amazing. I read Daddy & brandy, addiction too and the realism and emotion portrayed in them is truly remarkable.

I love how you bring experience into your other pieces and mix that with Hopkins in this one. I think that the beauty in your poems lies in the startling reality in the brevity of them and the fact that rather than use excess in adjectives you use your raw emotion.

It's truly complex and diverse your pieces and for a moment, while reading I can't help but feel a little tug on my own heart. truly beautiful, your work.

[Fatima]

Omg... Thank you so much this definetly has made my day.

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

Wow. This is one hits like a punch in the gut, a slap across the face. Many, many people don't know what's really going inside of a house. Most are afraid to come out and tell the world what had happened to them. It is a difficult subject, but it must be told. And very few of them really ever tell their story. So I'm clapping my hands right now for your bravery.

[Fatima]

Thank you, it was very hard to write it at first because I would let my emotions get the best of me and I would get "paralyzed" and couldn't continue on, but I feel as if the hardest things in life become great poems or stories.

[Still Growing]

In this poem you capture perfectly the struggle of all anonymous incestual-rape victims. Whether you have suffered personally this way and have complete literary recall, or simply possessed of empathetic potency, I say,

Well done.

[Fatima]

Thank you!

[Matching Socks]

There are a million reasons these stories go untold...
I'm glad they're being told at last.

[Fatima]

Thank you Ana

[Eleanor]

This is more of a story than a poem. But I liked the reality in it.
And the lines "had his demons claimed your soul" - greatly written.
Would love to read more by you :)
Keep writing ^_^

[Fatima]

Thank you!

[Rob Santana]

This makes me sad but more angry than anything. I grew up with three younger sisters and if I knew this was happening to one of them I would have went bloody insane!!!

[Fatima]

Anyone with common sense would.

[Rob Santana]

Trust me when I say I've seen people stand by and do nothing while their sisters have been beaten and sexually assaulted.

[Fatima]

I know, and its probably the most upsetting thing, because how can you stand back and watch anyone go through something like that?

[Rob Santana]

Exactly. I don't understand that. I've stepped in a few times where I probably shouldn't have but I just couldn't take seeing this certain female getting tossed around like that. I don't know.....

[Fatima]

You're a good person, many people wouldn't want to get involved because its "not their problem" and to think this is the world we are living in today.

[Anotherlifemaybe]

''Had his demons claimed your soul''
Beautiful first writing, I enjoyed reading it. I'm looking forward to read your writings if you add more.
Amazing work, I love the whole poem.

[Fatima]

Thank you, I love writing, for years i've kept it to myself and to close friends, but this comment has lifted my spirits and I hope you like the rest of my work.

[Anotherlifemaybe]

Well; there's no reason to keep your writings to yourself. Because I can tell how perfect of a writer you are after reading this. Good luck.