Where the Pier Ends

This is a quick Shakespearean sonnet that I just finished writing for my English IV class. I really hope you guys enjoy. :)

The edge of the pier beckons my lonely, troubled, heart

Soft whispering waves stretch to kiss my feet

I glance quickly o're my shoulder, no words left to impart

For soon, I suspect, a sad countenance I will meet

Entranced by it's promising lull, I solemnly peep

Sweet, endless, nothing only two steps away

It tears viscously at my heart, that promise you made keep

All of these things would pass, if I had it my way

Ere my foot comes to close, ere my thoughts slip again

Your kind voice pulls me back from honied bliss

I could never leave you behind, cause your heart so much pain

So I turn, and part from the cool abyss

Here I am, same as last, after I made my amends

Leaving my hopes and dreams of escape where the pier ends.

Reviews

[E.J.Byrnes]

Just to clear some things up because I've been getting messages about the meaning of this poem. It's literally about a woman standing on the edge of a pier, contemplating suicide. It hurts her very soul to not be able to commit the act, but the love of her family and the guilt of causing them pain pulls her back. So she finally sighs and makes peace with her soul, and returns to her family and friends. She leaves all her pain and sorrow at the edge of the pier.

[M.E.Lyle]

A wonderful use of rhyme and rythm. Great use of vocabulary. A melancholy poem with what may be, or not be, a happy ending. Lucky for this one, she turned away from deaths door and walked into a new life. Great job.

[nenestarrs]

Very clear and nicely laid out. It has a sad undertone, and i just can't help hoping for the protagonist happy conclusion.

[Tyler Dean Allen]

Very vivid and clear imagery. It doesn't go over the top with the details, and with that's there paints a effectively lonely portrait. It doesn't feel contrived, or like you're just adding fancy words in to make in sound more "Shakespearean". No, it sounds very natural, and there's actually a clear sense of what's happening. Very well crafted, and it really is enchanting.

[Raven Starhawk]

This has a essence I cannot directly explain at the moment but your words have a impact, are well crafted and a well chosen bunch that I have to admit myself in awe.