I don't Know Why

~Italics is one~, *normal is the other.*

I Don't Know Why

~I gave a special girl my prized pocket watch,
She didn't want to take it at first,
Because I've had it for so long,
She accepted it with a smile and gave me a hug,
I felt warm on the inside, a feeling I never wanted to dissipate,
We talked till the week I had to leave,
I was a little sad not hearing from her,

She was very dear to me, and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye,

And I Don’t Know Why.~

 

*Months before the Pocket Watch,

I met someone I liked, I could talk to her about anything,

The other, not so much.

We talked for hours during my down time,

But then my transmissions were severed for months to come.

She thought I lost interest, I didn’t think of her as much,

This isn’t true.

I couldn’t be there for her, see her in the flesh.

The simple connection of a hand could not be made.*

 

Upon arrival, I hear someone screaming with rage,

I'm surrounded by people I don't know,
Men in uniform, yelling at me,

Telling me where to go, in very little detail,
I look to a fellow friend who came with me,
We are both scared.
Scared to what we just got ourselves into.

Weeks pass on, I make new friends,
We share experiences, laughter, and stories,

The only thing keeping me going is persistence,

And the simple fact of talking to a loved one,

*She doesn’t realize how much I care for her.*
A few months have passed, and I loose my friends,
I meet someone I can trust and call a friend,
But then they leave somewhere else and I never hear from them,
And I Don't Know Why.

 

I still have friends on the outside,

Friends who talk with me every now and then,

Good friends that I have known for years,

And I know who will stay with me,

I am thankful for this.

*Months have passed after I met someone I am fond of,
She likes me, and I like her, she’s the one that kept me going,
I feel that maybe we can be together some day,
I'm at Tech School, She's In Collage,
She tells me she might find a guy at her new collage,
I gladly tell her, "If he can give you the things I cannot, then it was meant to be."

That’s what love it, what is best for the other person.
Maybe I might find someone I can hold hands with,
The simple feeling of a human’s hand or a head on my shoulder,
I can't find anybody,
And I Don't Know Why.*

 

~The other sent me a message right before I left,

She wanted to give me something dear to her,

A precious book.

She wanted to meet up on that day,

But I didn’t receive the letter fast enough.

I was long gone before she sent the message,

I could have said Goodbye, if I could have read that message,

But I Don’t Know Why.~

 

*The girl I was fond of broke my heart,

I always hated this feeling,

The feeling of heart ache and loneliness.

Why couldn’t she see what I saw?

Does she realize she was the first one I wanted to talk to?

Maybe she’s not the one for me?

Maybe she didn’t want her heart broken?

I Just Don’t Know Why*

 

I want this feeling of emptiness to go away,

This feeling of disregard and loneliness to disappear.

I want the warmth to fill my conscience again,

The Feeling to love, and to be loved.

 

…I Just Want It Back…