The girl’s voice drowned all others, except Desmond’s. She could hear her, her voice pained and weak, eerie and disconcerting. She was pleading ardently, begging her to listen.
If you don’t remember, everything will change. Just remember what happened, before I went away, before I wasn’t a part of you. The lights, Ilyana… remember those eyes? Remember, you must remember. I need to be a part of you. When I’m alone, you’re alone. Let me come back.
“Stop it!” she screamed. “Just leave me alone!”
It wasn’t just the haunting voice of the little girl. It was the pain that it brought, the pain that was attached to that keychain. Wrenching pain that was doubled by her voice. It was unbearable, it ached in every inch of her body. It ached her heart. She couldn’t shake it, not unless she could get the girl out of her head.
Let me back. Now. There’s no more time left, no time at all. You’re going to lose everything. Everything you know, everything you love. Let me come back.
She saw his face. Those burning eyes. A face she didn’t recognize at first, but when she did, it scared her. Scared her so bad that she had to move, out of the bed, away from the hands that were trying to comfort her, man hands, hands she couldn’t trust. She had to get away from all the voices of all the people that she couldn’t understand over the voice of the little girl. She moved to the farthest corner of the room, backed into it, wished she could go through it and leave that room.
But the face was still there, attached to a body with treacherous hands. Hands that were reaching out for her. She put her arms up, to block those hands, became small, small as she could in her corner. She crumbled into a ball, and shielded herself with her arms.
“Stay away from me!”
___________________
Desmond watched in disbelief. He’d just left the room not five minutes ago, and Ilyana was fine. Too fine maybe, she hadn’t said a thing about Generosa. She had been in a trance, and now she was somewhere else, not in a trance, but somewhere where he would not be able to get to her.
In the room, Dr. Munson practiced techniques that were supposed to help Ilyana. They didn’t work.
Someone called for security.
“No.” Desmond said. “She’s not dangerous.”
“He’s right.” Nurse Dalton said. “Just leave her alone. I’ll get her a sedative. She’ll be all right. She just needs to be left alone. I want everyone out, but you and you.” she said,pointing to Desmond and Dr. Munson.
She sent someone for the sedative.
“Don’t try to touch her, just leave her be.” the nurse said.
Desmond stepped closer to her, but not enough to alarm her. He bent down to whisper in her ear, but didn’t lean in.
“Ilyana, I’m here.” he told her.
___________________
She knew who he was. She knew what he was capable of. She knew what he would do to her if he had the chance to.
She watched him, coming closer to her, but then saw his victim was someone else, someone in front of him. A little girl, battered wearing a filthy white silk nightgown.
He snatched her up, and turned to leave with her. She could hear her screaming, but couldn’t see her.
“No.” Ilyana whispered.
The man turned into the dark figure from her dreams. He looked over his shoulder, looked directly at her. Though this time she saw that same face under the hood of the dark figure. He turned around, and disappeared.
The sound of the crying girl stayed. The pain stayed.
When the vision was gone, the room returned. She could see that Desmond was kneeling in front of her, trying to get close to her.
She wanted to tell him what she saw, tell him what she knew. But she was interrupted.
Nurse Dalton kneeled beside her, with a sedative in a needle. She had an alcohol swab. She wiped her arm, the coolness of it surprised her. She was going to inject it.
“No. No.” she said, stern and commanding. “I don’t want it.”
“It’s just to help you calm down.”
“No. Do not give me that.” She turned to Desmond. “Desmond, I saw him again. I know who took her -”
Nurse Dalton continued to try and give her the sedative. Ilyana pushed the nurse away, and got to her feet. “ Didn’t you hear me?” she screamed, like a mad woman. She turned back to her husband Desmond- “
The nurse took Ilyana by the arm. She led her to the bed, Ilyana reluctantly followed.
Ilyana stumbled backwards, her glance never letting go of her Desmond’s so he could understand the gravity of what she’d just discovered. The nurse tried to get her to sit on the bed.
“Damnit! Let me go!” Ilyana screamed. She pulled free from her, and went to Desmond. She stood in front of him, he held her close to her.
“Do you remember?” he asked, his voice shaking with concern.
“I remember Tony. He has my baby, I know he does.”
_________________
“How much longer?” Larkin asked. They were in the car following Tim to some nameless place where they were supposed to find Generosa.
“I don’t know. He said it was an hour away.”
“It's been twenty minutes. Can he make it any quicker?”
“You should be driving.” Michael chuckled.
“Don’t make jokes Michael, please.”
“It wasn’t a joke. We’re still forty minutes away, and I-”
“-think we‘re running out of time? I do too, more than anything.” Larkin sat up in her chair. Her hands were in fists so tight that her fingernails poked her palms. “Michael, please tell me she’s there.”
“There‘s no way to know until we get there. But I’ll bet my life on it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I couldn’t explain it to you if I tried.”
_________________
Katerina finished her dinner, and went into the kitchen for a wine cooler. Rum with a twist.
She brought it back to the patio, and saw that Tony wasn’t in there. She went back into the kitchen and finished her drink. She left the bottle on the counter. She headed for the stairs, and heard the garage door open. Tony walked into the kitchen.
“Where’d you go?” Katerina asked him.
“Just to get something out of the car, that’s all.”
“What is it?”
“It’s nothing.”
She didn’t push. She put the bottle in the trash rather than leave it on the counter. “I’m going upstairs.” she told him.
“Fine. See you up there later.”
“Whatever.” she said. She found her cool once again. She went up the stairs, and headed to her bedroom. She passed the room that Tony kept looking at on the way. She opened the door, just barely, and peeked inside. The bed was positioned with it's head against the wall opposite the door. Katerina had a perfect view of the child from where she was.
She was sleeping, like Tony said. She seemed fine. Katerina closed the door and went to the master’s suite.
Something tugged at her, like a warning. She didn’t heed it right away. She went into the bathroom, took a quick shower, and when she came out, she brushed her hair. She wrapped her hair in a sloppy bun, and put on some white night shorts and a T-shirt. She put on the TV, and flipped through the channels for something to wind down her high-strung mind.
Still something tugged at her.
She opened the door to her room, looked out towards the stair case, and didn’t see him coming or preparing to come. She heard the TV downstairs had been turned on, sensual moaning and calling rose up the stairs. He was watching porn. She was glad she came upstairs.
She went back to the room, sure he wouldn’t be back for awhile. She walked all the way inside this time. She went to the bed, and stood at it's side. The child was a sloppy sleeper. Her head had rolled off the pillow, her arms were sprawled around her, the blanket pulled up only as far as midways on her, though it was chilly in the house, as it always was at night. Katerina always turned the AC down so she could comfortably curl up in thick blankets.
He never told her the girl’s name. She shook her, slightly, and the girl didn’t rouse. Katerina only wanted to wake her up long enough to see if she was okay, to ease her own disquieted mind. She shook her harder, and the girl did not budge. Katerina shook her harder still, and a clench in her stomach and a nervous heat surged through her, like being caught by your mother stealing cookies from the cookie jar. Or better, being pursued by the cops after stealing a car. Though this was not guilt. This was apprehension. Katerina couldn’t understand why the girl wouldn’t wake up.
“Hey.” she said. “Hey, get up.” she shook her harder, too hard for comfort. Her hard nudges were thrashing her around on the bed, as she continuously asked the child to get up. She didn’t.
Katerina lifted the girls head onto the pillow. She shook her again, and this time got a small response. The child’s eyes fluttered, but didn’t open. Her lips parted and she let out a little sigh.
She was worried now that she understood. Tony had not meant to drug her. He had other intentions.
She shook her again. “Hey? Can you hear me? Hey!”
The girls eyes fluttered once again. Beneath her eyelids, her eyes were almost vacant. She parted her lips to say something this time. Only part of a word came out.
“Mo-”
She probably meant to say Mom, or Mommy, but she didn’t say anymore. Katerina went back out to the hallway, to check for Tony again. She heard a varied ‘bow-chick a-bow-bow‘, and went to her own room.
She wet a towel, as her mother once did when she was sick. She didn’t know how much it would help, but she knew that the feeling of wet, cold and clammy towel on your face always made it impossible to sleep or stay asleep. She took it into the bedroom.
She shook the girl again. When she didn’t wake, Katerina sat next to her on the bed and put the child’s head in her lap. She rubbed the wet towel over her face, in soft caring strokes. Every few minutes, she would ask the child again to wake up. After nearly ten minutes of this, the girl started to stir.
Her eyes opened. She looked straight up towards the ceiling.
She shivered, her small body racked by tremors.
“Hey.” Katerina said.
The girl turned to face her. She wasn’t scared. Katerina didn’t know what to think but she knew she wasn’t just a heavy sleeper.
“Hey, what’s your name?” Katerina asked.
“Generosa.” she answered. Her speech was slurred
“Did your daddy tell you you’d be staying here with Tony?”
She shook her head.
“What’d he tell you?”
“…daddy went away...”
“Yes, on vacation, but did he tell you you’d be coming to stay here for awhile?”
“…not vacation…” she mumbled
“Do you know why you’re here?”
She shook her head.
“Does your Mommy know you’re here?”
She shook her head.
“Do you know Tony?”
She shook her head.
“Did he hurt you?”
She didn’t answer.
“Do you want to go home?”
She nodded. “My tummy hurts.” she said.
“Did that man give you something to drink, and did it made you sleepy?” Katerina asked, thinking about the explanation of the use of the date-rape drug that her friend had once given her.
The girl shook her head.
“Did he hurt you?”
“Mmm-hmm.” she said and pulled the blanket away. There was a small red mark on her thigh. “here.”
“God.” Katerina said. “Okay, I’m gonna try and get you out of here, okay? I’ll bring you back to your Mommy.”
The girl eyes moved and looked straight ahead at the doorway. Katerina turned back to glance at what she was looking at, expecting to see nothing.
Tony was standing at the doorway. He held a gun in his hands. Katerina froze. The gun was pointed at her.
He slowly walked towards her, grabbed her up by the elbow, and drew her in close to him. Katerina let the girl’s head fall out of her lap.
He held the gun to her lips and pushed it in forcing her to open her mouth, pushing it in until she couldn’t keep her mouth closed anymore. He forced it in until it was so far in her mouth that it produced a slight gag reflex.
“I asked you, kindly, not to bother the girl.” he said. “I told you not to come in here. I don’t have to kill you Kat, if you go back into our room, and forget any of this ever happened. Just go and we can forget all this, and we can go back to trying to be a couple again.”
“Mmm.” she said.
“What, what? What is that? Am I understood”
“MMM-HMM!” she said, and nodded.
“You should learn to speak much more politely to your elders Katerina. That’s one thing I have failed to teach you.”
He pulled the gun out of her mouth, and she rushed to the doorway.
“Katerina!” he called. “I’m really not a fool you know. You loved to tell me I was, but between the two of us, the idiocy lies in you.”
She didn’t say anything. She looked back at the frightened little girl, who was keeping a trained eye on the gun in his hand.
Katerina hoped that thus far, all the little girl knew about guns was if you pointed a fake, harmless gun at your friend while playing cops and robbers and you say ‘bang bang, you’re dead‘, that your friend would fall, and two seconds later he’d get back up again and the game continued.
She hoped the girl wouldn’t soon learn anything of the infinity that she would face if Tony pointed the gun at her and said bang, bang.
___________________
“Desmond, I know where she is! I have to get out of here.” Ilyana told him. Nurse
Dalton hung to the side, the syringe still in her hand, she no longer felt the need to use it.
“Can you take us there?” Desmond asked her.
‘Yes.” she said, nodding vigorously. “We have to go now or...”
“Okay. I’ll call the police.” Desmond told her.
“No! If he hears sirens, he’ll hurt her. He’ll… he will kill her. He doesn’t want to be found with her.”
Desmond hesitated. He didn’t know what to think. Without the police, they were putting themselves as well as their daughter in danger.
Though with the prospect of having his daughter back home and safe, of starting over before their lives fell out of the balance, of holding his little girl again he was grounded. His hesitation was quickly followed by leading Ilyana out into the hallway and to the car.
Nurse Dalton called after them. “She hasn’t been released. She can’t leave until one of the doctors sign off on it.”
“We don’t have time for that.” Ilyana told Desmond.
“Laura, let us go.”
“I can’t.”
Desmond walked over to the nurse.
Desmond stood in front of the nurse as a small man, humbled by the magnitude of his situation. He spoke the only words that would come to him. Slowly, and quietly, he pleaded. “I have done nothing but abandon this family. I‘ve messed up.” he looked at her for any sign of a decision. “I’m trying to be there.”
“Fine, go.” the nurse said, looking away.
“Thank you.” he said, and he and Ilyana were out the door.
He helped her to duck out of view of the attendants in the department, and to make their way to the elevator. They left out of the front door of the hospital, and went to Desmond’s car.
“Hurry, Desmond.” Ilyana insisted.
___________________
Molina and Brown burst through the doors again. They returned to the room where they had left the couple hours earlier. They weren’t there.
Coming back up the hallway, headed to the front desk, they were intercepted by the lippy little nurse they’d met earlier. She had her head buried in a file, but now she was glaring at them, as if she meant to set both their foreheads ablaze.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“We’re looking for Mr. Bernard.” Molina said.
“They aren’t able to talk right now.” she said.
“Why is that?”
“Well, they…I sent Ilyana in to see a neurologist.”
“Where is that?”
“It’s not on this floor. In fact, it’s not even in this building, so you should just- you should probably come back a little later.”
“Nurse Dalton, correct?”
“Yes.”
“I am not going to harass your patient Nurse Dalton, I’d just like to know if it’s alright that I speak to her husband. Could you page him for me?”
“No.”
“Why not.”
“He’s busy. He has to-”
“She’s lying.” Brown said, interrupting her thought process.
Molina sighed in response.
“Been lying this whole time.” Brown said, not even looking up. He pulled out a stick of gum and popped it into his mouth.
Detective Molina stepped closer to the Nurse, meaning to make their conversation more private, not to intimidate her. “Nurse Dalton. Just tell me what’s going on. What are you hiding?”
She put on a false exterior, stood tall and sure. She looked to her left, and realizing although it wasn’t exactly a crime to lie to a cop, if there was anything going on, she could go to jail as an accomplice. For the sake of the girl, she could deal with that, but not if withholding information only put the girl in more danger. She was a good judge of character, but no judge could be certain his verdict was accurate. Desmond and Ilyana could still pose a threat to the child, especially if the cops thought they did.
“They left.” she said. “I let them go.”
“Do you know where they went?”
“No.”
“Has Ilyana been discharged?”
“No.” she said, quiet and timid.
“Listen. I just want to help.” Detective Molina said. “If you find out anything, anything at all, call me.” Molina handed her a card, and walked away, with his partner by his side.
In the car, Brown chomped on his gum while Molina tried to think.
“It was him.” Molina said. “You saw that wound on his leg? I saw it. It was the both of them. Whoever that was, he tried to make it look like a kidnapping. Who do think that was, a boyfriend?”
“Don’t know. But what about the hairs. Didn’t belong to any of ‘em.”
“I don’t know. But whoever that was at the hospital and at the house, I need to talk to him.”
Molina pulled out a cigarette and rolled down his window to smoke it. As he casually peered out the window, he saw a black SUV coming out of the parking lot.
“That’s them.” he said putting the car into gear. He turned the sirens on.
Brown smiled.
Molina pulled out of his parking space and followed behind the SUV. He expected it to go peeling out of the parking lot, but instead, the driver pulled up to a curb. Molina pulled his own car up to the curb and got out. He left the lights on.
“Sir.” he said when he got up to the window.
“Detective Molina.” the man said.
“That’s my name,” the detective said. “But what I’m curious about is, what is yours?”
The most authentic look of shock and awe came over the man’s face. Brown got out of the car and came up behind them. He had stopped to take down plate numbers.
“What do you mean? I’m Desmond Bernard. Dr. Desmond Bernard.”
“Do you have an ID on you?”
“This is ridiculous.” Ilyana said from the passenger seat.
“Just a minute ma’am.” Molina said, peering into the car. Ilyana rolled her eyes at him.
“Of course I do,” Desmond said, mumbling to himself. He reached into his jeans pocket and found nothing but the note he’d put there earlier.
He looked into his glove box. The detective glared at him as he did, standing ready in the case that Desmond wished to pull out a hand gun and take him down. His wallet wasn’t there either.
“Desmond, you have to hurry.” Ilyana said.
“Just let me go check my bags.” Desmond said, getting out of the car. The detective asked him kindly to leave his hands where they could be seen.
Desmond went to the back of his car, and checked the tote and the small bag he had back there. He checked the shopping bags that held some of the clothing he purchased while on the road. His wallet wasn’t in any of them.
Desmond stared blankly at the bags. He didn’t want to turn around and tell the detective that he actually didn’t have his wallet.
The other detective was right next to him. “Got a problem?” he asked.
“I can’t find it.” he said. “I left it in a hotel in Nevada.”
“What were you doing there?”
Desmond looked back at Ilyana through the interior of the car. She had kneeled on the seat to watch what was going on behind the car.
“I have my credit card.” he said, not answering his question.
“That’s not an ID.”
“I know, but, if I use it, you’ll know I am who I say I am.” Desmond led the detective into the hospital room. He asked the woman in the billing center to charge him for the ambulance.
She threw him an awkward stare. The detective told her to do it.
She tried it, and shook her head.
“Try it again.” he said.
“Sir, the credit card has been shut off.”
“Sounds a lot like what’ll happen if a card’s been reported stolen.” the detective said.
“This doesn’t make sense. That’s my card, I used it earlier.”
“You could call your company.”
“That won’t be necessary.” the detective said.
Desmond took his card back and walked out the hospital back to the car. The detective followed him like a loyal dog.
Ilyana was sitting in the front seat shaking, with her head in her lap. Desmond stood in the head lights of his car. Brown came and stood by his partner’s side. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“No identification, stolen credit card.”
“It’s not stolen.”
“Sir, I’m having trouble believing that.”
Desmond began pacing. “I don’t understand this.”
“Neither do I.” the detective said. “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to come back with me.
“I can’t do that.” he said.
“You don’t have much of a choice. Either you can come with me peacefully, or I’ll have to take you in for resisting arrest.” he said..
Desmond stared at the detective, eyes lit by the headlights. His pacing had brought him out of the spotlight, so that looking at them made them look ethereal, the very entities that were keeping him from getting his daughter home safe.
“Fine.” he said.
Just as the detectives walked toward him, meaning to escort him to their vehicle, his SUV came to life.
The car lunged forward. The faces of the detectives disappeared just as he watched them, and their bodies plowed toward the ground.
“Get in the car!” Ilyana shouted. Desmond obeyed
Desmond was paralyzed for a moment, but knew how grave the situation had become. He took his eyes off the fallen authorities and got into the passenger’s seat of the car.
“Ilyana, why would you do that.” he said as she backed the car up, slamming into the vehicle behind them.
“If we don’t hurry, it’ll be too late. He’ll hurt her. I know he will, he won’t wait.”
“I understand that, but those are men of the law. You do not assault a detective.”
“I didn’t, I ran them over with my car.”
“It‘s done.” he said, replacing the arguing words he wanted to say with words of resolve. “Just drive. Don’t speed, not now. Get us on the interstate.”
Her hands were shaking on the steering wheel.
Ilyana was not a dangerous person. Some weird strength had surged through her when she passed over the gears, into the driver’s seat and took hold of the wheel. It was almost like a different person had put the car into drive and rammed into the men standing in front of the car. Now, she had calmed, if only just a little bit, and she didn’t have the strength to handle the car. Her attention could not be taken off of the road, but her eyes glazed over. Her entire body was shaking.
“You have to drive.” she said.
Not wanting to stop moving, Desmond reached over and held the steering wheel while Ilyana moved into the passenger’s seat. The car slowed, and Desmond moved into the driver’s seat and put his foot on the brake. He drove steadily at the speed limit until they got onto the interstate.
He looked over at her and saw that she had steadied. She was watching the road now.
His heart beat furiously, he had never felt such disparity, such fear, or angst. He knew he could be pulled over any minute. He knew that the both of them would probably face incarceration, if not before, then after they got they’re daughter back.
___________________
Tony watched Katerina leave, and watched her close the door. The little girl eyed him, and eyed the hand that held the gun.
“Don’t worry about this, honey.” he told her, flailing it around in his hand to prove it’s innocuousness. “This is not for you.” He dropped the gun to the floor, and pulled a switchblade from his pocket. “If we have any troubles, this is what you must be wary of. Nod if you understand.”
She didn’t respond. Now she was staring at the blade. The blade was less then a centimeter away from her face, her eyes converged to stare at its point.
“Nod, if you underdstand Generosa.”
She did, careful not to let the point graze her skin.
He put the knife away, back into his poket, and sat at the foot of the bed. “You’re such a pretty girl.” he told her. “Just like your mother. If only you could’ve seen her back then. I should’ve took pictures, and left them with her. Ah, but life is full of should haves and would haves. Regrets.“
He made himself comfortable on the bed. He spoke with little concern about whether the child was listening.
“Less time for indulgence, more time for a neat clean up.”
He stopped talking, and looked at her. He stared at her, for a long time. He took her in, every strand of hair, every mark on her face, her posture. The twinkle in her eye that to his dismay, wasn’t one of joy. He wanted her to want him, but it was too late for that. So he let the rest of it roll off of his back.
He touched her hair. He took a handful of it, and smelled it. It smelled like bubblegum scented shampoo. It was a stupid-happy smell. It was too juvenile for his taste. He would wash her hair in an scented shampoo tonight, if he had that chance. He touched her face. It was warm, smooth and soft.
He tried to connect with her, speak to her with all the kindness of an idolized teacher. He had a simple request, one he hoped would be filled with no hesitation and no discussion.
She shook her head when he asked her.
“Do it!” he shouted.
She shook her head once again..
“Do it now!”
“I’m not supposed to!” she shouted back, feigning bravery, a quiver in her voice proved her to be as scared as a defeated ship captain roughing unforgiving stormy seas. Yet, she looked at him, unyielding. She was so much like her mother.
He had to do it himself. It wasn’t his objective to unwrap his, in so many words, candy, so soon, but he didn’t know how long it would be until she would expire.
She didn’t scream. She wore a look of shock and she stifled her screams. She trembled with built up cries, and let out nothing, not so much as a snivel.
He relished that silence. That meant that he had control of his plaything. How he missed that control. He didn’t hold the power to control women. He felt a greater need to preserve a child’s beauty, corrupt it's mind and mentality, and all the while, be entirely in control. He could not do any of those things with a woman.
_________________
“Far north.” she told him.
Ilyana poked and prodded him the whole way through with her words. She was telling him they had to hurry; she was assuring herself that Generosa would be okay.
Reminding herself of what happened all those years ago, though not aloud, images soared through her head. They were like a warning of what he was capable of, what he might do, the terrors that Generosa might experience.
She sat across from him at a dinner table. Her plate was empty. He made her earn her food. If she could answer ten math problems correctly in a row, she would receive one serving of rice. For each one she got wrong, she had to consume one pill and start over.
The pills he gave her made her throw up.
By the time she got the seventh wrong answer, she was throwing up blood. Her stomach cramped up painfully. Convulsions attacked her even as she tried to enjoy the rations earned.
If she couldn’t sit at the table with dry eyes, she would be forced to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom.
At this point, the memories were crude, but tolerable. She hadn’t witnessed in her conscious mind any of the horrors her subconscious mind still attempted to keep caged away. Even after her revelation in the hospital room, her mind still wished to grant her some false sanity.
Through the windows above the dashboard, she could see ahead of her that storm clouds were starting to form. They weren’t so dark that they were threatening, but they were graying, and certainly promising some rain. Desmond seemed to notice as quickly as she did the rapidly changing clouds. Worry lines deepened on his brow just as suddenly as these clouds were graying in front of them.
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