Your struggles are your reminder, tomorrow will be kinder. in your darkest times, you'll shine brighter. you are your fate's designer, your obstacles are like a glider, tomorrow will be kinder. you are the lonely fighter, no matter if you feel extinguished, one day you'll be shiner, tomorrow will be kinder.
From a writer who struggles with mental illness, depression, anxiety, etc, this poem was the most powerful to read! My dad always tells me to take life "one day at a time," and reading this piece really related to that, I feel. I admire how empowering this simple message is, yet if one reads it everyday or at least keeps it in mind, it can speak volumes. This certainly brought a powerful smile to my face, thank you so much!
A positive work, Farhan!
My fav line is 'you are your fate's designer'.
Everybody says that fate designs our life. So nice of you to break away from superstitious beliefs:)
The word 'shiner' doesn't fit in the poem.
Keep writing!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you naat..okay..I'll change it
7 Years Ago
Actually it is the opposite word of "Extinguished" so that's why i thought it will get fit
The message in this poem is beautiful and gives really a positive hope. I especially liked the first two lines..
I do think you tried to force rhyming at the end of the lines. This line here:
"no matter if you feel extinguish,"
should be "extinguished".
And this line here:
"one day you'll be
shiner,"
This line seems forced. "Shiner" doesn't sound right to me. I would have suggested "brighter" but since you've already used that so idk it's your choice. Just giving you my pov.
I liked the message on the whole.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you yumnakay for your review and help at first place i thought that "brighter" will fir good b.. read moreThank you yumnakay for your review and help at first place i thought that "brighter" will fir good but i already used that word "brighter" and after using the word "extinguished" i thought perhaps "shiner" will be nice choice...
7 Years Ago
Hmm yes, that's why I said it's your choice.
You're welcome, Farhan. A pleasure always 😊
Wow farhan....something i really needed at present... This is so motivating and supporting. Its really good that its short . Simple yet so supportive
These are my fav lines
in your darkest times,
you'll shine brighter.
you are your fate's designer,
and i loved the title TOMMOTOW WILL BR KINDER....
we mostly give up just before succeeding and this poem will energize anyone to move forward and reminds that the fruit of hardwork will be sweet....
The punch line is so good
tomorrow will
be kinder.
From the very first line it sends positive vibes...I am not some poetic picasso but i loved it and seriously it it Kudos....
Well done...keep writing... The innocence and freshness in your writings is always vivid and wants the reader to keep reading ...
All the best...read a good work after long😊