Reunion

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.

I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batch mates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.

All the old memories flashed in my mind. Those teary eyes of her which said goodbye to me on the farewell day are still very fresh in my memory. Those eyes wake me up each morning and those are the eyes which I see when I close my eyes in the night.

I started feeling nervous right from the moment it was confirmed that it is her, I was not sure how she will respond if I talk to her, or for that matter whether I should walk up to her and confront or not. While I was in this dilemma she walked away from the line and my eyes followed her forgetting the rest of the world, the fat old man standing behind me in the queue, got back my attention and reminded me to collect the tickets.

I quickly went in search of her and found her sitting in a corner, sipping her coffee. Her love for coffee hasn’t changed yet I thought, and desperately wished that the feelings once she had for me should also have remained the same.

When I started this journey I had no hope that she would come for the wedding, as she never kept any contacts with most of the batch mates, and the only girl she was in touch with, would never share her contact details how much ever I tried. Seeing her suddenly in the airport gave me mixed feelings, I was extremely happy for the fact that she was here right in front of me, and she's going to travel along with me in the same flight but it also brought back the memories which made me feel guilty, for the one big mistake of mine which took her away from me.

After many debates and questions which went on in my mind, I decided not to disturb her here in the airport by reminding her of the past and let her have a peaceful journey, though coming across her in the wedding would not be something which could be avoided.

Along with the hand luggage, I carried all the past memories into the airplane and found my seat. There was a young girl sitting beside me already who had her head buried in a book. I turned towards the window and got lost in my thoughts.

Six years ago, I saw her first on the first day of college. It was nothing like love at first sight but a simple, pretty girl wearing a Blue Dress attracted my attention. I was never into girls but her innocence and simplicity made me crazy. She walked into the class a little late so most of the seats were already occupied.

She stood at the entrance searching for a seat and I kept staring her nibbling the cap of my pen, she found a seat behind and the cap broke into two pieces.

In the two year course, it took 7 months for me just to walk up to her and introduce myself. I never had any female friends nor was interested in making any, but this girl was different, she attracted me like a magnet attracts metal.

Each day whenever I saw her, I would imagine how and what I am going to say her at that moment. For example if I found her in the library reading something, "Hey I like the author of the book you are reading, is he your favorite too?"                                    

These dialogues within my brain went on for a long time but never gathered the courage to actually speak to her.
After many months of rehearsals, one day I finally decided to talk to her at any cost. Luckily, I found her sitting alone in the cafeteria.

The plan was to join her and say, "I wanted to have a sandwich, would you mind if I get one for you too?"                      
"Hi, Can I join you?" I asked very politely.

"Sure" she said diverting her attention from the phone, but she again got busy with her mobile not even bothering about me.

 I wanted to have a sandwich” just as I said this she lifted her head and stared at me, and I the dumbest guy on the planet could not complete the sentence and just looked at her nervously.

She was stuck for about 30 seconds, “Sure which one would you like to have?” she said with a little confusion.

Shamelessly I said “Cheese”, with a smile which generally comes when people say “cheese” while clicking pictures.

She went to get that sandwich for me and I sat there holding my head for the most amazing thing I just did.

She handed me my sandwich and sat opposite to me. “If am not wrong we both are in the same class isn’t it? She asked.

I was glad that she recognized me and very excitedly I said “Yes, yes I just sit two rows behind from you. “

That’s nice, I am “Aanya” she said extending her hand. 

I am “Chinmay” I said quickly grabbing her hand, not realizing that the cheese in the sandwich was stick on my hand, which eventually passed onto her hand. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to do this, am so sorry” I said offering the tissue to her.

No problem, that’s fine. You seem to be a very interesting guy” she said with a wide smile on her face.

Godddd, that bright smile on her face!!!!!!! The lights of the whole city would have become dim before her smile, I thought.

Starting that day, we kept meeting during our breaks and discussed about a variety of things including studies.

Days passed and we became very close, so close that the whole class understood that something was cooking between us. But we never proposed officially or had said the typical I LOVE YOU thing to each other. But something grew very strong between us but we never named it.

It was almost towards the end of the semester that I made that one big mistake. One day we both went on ride and stopped at an isolated place and were discussing about our future plans. I am still not sure what went wrong with me but unconsciously I tried getting close to her physically.

Her expression suddenly changed, she pushed me back and started walking away. I tried stopping her, saying sorry I turned her towards me grabbing her shoulder. Her eyes were welled up with tears; I realized how much I have hurt her, having nothing to say  than feeling ashamed I, left her arms and saw her walk away in a fast pace.

After that day I made every attempt to talk to her, but the response was always negative. Those were the most helpless days of my life. She was there before my eyes, sitting right in front of me but she wouldn’t even look at me or utter one single word, I prayed that at least she should come and fight with me. All this was nothing less than hell.

The farewell day has come and I it was my final attempt to apologize and make everything alright.

Dressed in a red gown for the farewell party she was among a group of friends exchanging final goodbyes. I walked up to her, grabbed her hand and took her to the garden area.

“What is this Chinmay Please let me go”. More than anger, helplessness sounded in her voice.

“I love you Aanya. Every minute I had spent without you had made me realize how badly I need you. I thought it was just attraction when I first saw you, but now I know that I have instantly fallen in love with you. I want to spend my entire life loving you, caring for you and getting loved by you. I agree that I made a huge mistake trying to get physical without your consent, forgive me Aanya, and please don’t avoid me anymore.

She stopped me “Don’t say anything more Chinmay, forgive me. She ran away leaving me all alone.

I hoped that today Aanya would understand and we will be back together, but something in her eyes made it clear that she didn’t want to be with me, I have realized that things are shattered and I can never put them back in place.

‘’Excuse me sir, please fasten your seat beat, the plane is about to take off.’’ The air hostess landed me from past to present before the plane took off.

‘’It is very important, please understand, I will request that lady’’ a very familiar voice pleaded the air-hostess.

I was freezed listening to her voice so closely. Suddenly she appeared before me and started requesting the girl beside me to swap seats with her. The girl agreed and within no time Aanya was sitting next to me.

“Chinmay, how are you? I saw a glimpse of you while boarding flight, but you disappeared suddenly. You know how long it took for me to find you? ’” she said trying to breathe normal.

‘’Not more than me Aanya, it took 4 years for me to find you’’. I said in a serious tone.

Have you not moved on? She asked worriedly.

I tried to, but I kept searching for you in every girl I came across, it never worked with anyone else how it worked with you, but you. I stopped.

Do you mean that even after 4 years you are still in love with me? I can’t believe it she said seemingly surprised. I was wrong Chinmay, I was totally wrong. She said building the curiosity in me.

What are you talking about? Can you please explain? I questioned impatiently.

She looked around consciously and spoke in a low tone “I was raped when I was just 16; I grew up with those haunting memories but never gathered enough courage to share this with anyone, not even my mom. That day when you tried to get close to me I couldn’t help but remember the day when he brutally touched me. I knew that this will repeat and it could not bear it. I tried to confront but I was scared that your love will turn into sympathy once you get to know about this, I wanted to say I LOVE YOU TOO when you proposed me on the farewell night but I had no clue what to do. I can bear staying away from you Chinmay but seeing sympathy instead of love was not something which I wanted, and I was not even sure whether you would accept me with this fact or not. Well, I am still not sure about it.’’ She said hesitantly.

I am really shocked Aanya, not for what has happened to you, but for what you did to me. How could you just assume all this? Have you never seen in my eyes how much I always loved you? I can totally understand how painful it is to live with such a brutal experience, I wish I could go back in time and stop it. But all that I can do is to make every effort to ease your pain and fill your heart with such loving memories that you will have no place for the one’s which hurt you. Please just come back in my life Aanya, please trust me. All I always have for you is love, it did not change when you left me saying nothing and nor will it change after you have said everything.

I LOVE YOU CHINMAY. She leaned on my shoulder and held my hand so tight that we can never separate again.

 

You don’t know how much I love you, there is never a day which went without thinking about you or regretting for losing you. I never even imagined that you will have so much of love for me. When I decided to attend this wedding, my only intention was to meet you and be assured that you have moved on. But you have totally proved me wrong Chinmay. I don’t know what to say.

Just say that you will marry me Aanya, will you? I asked.

She was surprised for the sudden question. ‘’ Just tell me when and where Chinmay” she said with a lightning smile.

The Reunion not just brought together the batch mates, but it reunited us for the whole life.