sharing oxygen

"You'll never see me again 'Cause I miss you already."

it's strange how the light never looks like waves
as it splashes
and
ebbs
and
pours
all over and into the dark
and breaks the silence with the droning hum of the evening.
sitting, warm and intact, we wait for the stars to disappear
so we can be alone.
once alone we operate like a machine
gears made to work with eachother
for eachother.
the sun is a tsunami of morning before i realize
that we've been here all night.
the day breaks and its illumination cascades onto the windshield
before it floods the cabin.
it reaches our chins and we don't bother to breathe
because when you're sharing oxygen
it's hard to drown.

Reviews

[Ms Jessica Renee]

Interesting...this is a first for me to be stumped on what more to say. Brilliant work for silencing my voice just this one time. :)

[Lindsey:)]

Wow. thats all i can say:)
i loved the last part. and i wanted to keep reading.
Good Job!

[He@ther!]

wow:) Beautiful work!!:) Especially the last lines:)

[lAcEy_LoO's Poems Site]

Wow.. so romantic!!!! But it really good!!!

~Lacey

[Chloe Madison Taylor.]

This is perfect.
"we wait for the stars to disappear
so we can be alone."
thats my favorite part.

[closed account]

this was beautiful.... simply beautiful

[Picture of Poetry]

This is brilliant work! Great flow too. I really love it, a lot. My favorite part was, "...the day breaks and its illumination cascades onto the windsheield..." LOVE IT!

[Steve Thompson]

Nice way to end ot the poem, solid format. There are a lot of things going on in this poem here!

[Sarah]

This is really wonderful imagery of light. It's something so commonly written about, and yet you manage to make it so unique! I loved the line "the sun is a tsunami of morning before i realize / that we've been here all night." Magical! :)

[~crazy Beautiful~]

this was different, interesting and very creative
i love the last lines
powerful
nice work
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