The Outing

Sazalle tells her Saladits how to behave.

Salazzle stands in front of a group of Saladits.

Salazzle: Right everyone. Right everyone! I'm talking! I'm talking! I want complete quiet! And that includes you, Dale! Yes, you! No need to turn around! There are no other Dales here, are there? Ben, it isn't absolutely necessary for your mp3 player to be playing Never Gonna Give You Up right now, is it? I saw that, Tom! Any more, and you'll be out, no trip, nothing! Now, it was my plan for us all to go to the museum. I had hoped I wouldn't have to tell you.... Yes, you too, Harry! You live here to, don't you? Now, I had hoped that I wouldn't have to remind you how to behave on a trip, but.... and this is a big but.... You haven't heard a word I've said, have you, Cameron? This is a big but! I have to tell you how to behave! Why?

Riley: Because we never listen?

Salazzle: Yes! It is because you never listen, but there's another reason.

Dale: Because of what happened last time!

Salazzle: Yes, Dale! Because of what happened last time! Let's remind ourselves of a few things. The food.... Even as I speak! I don't believe it! I can see that Nathan's already opened his can of drink! I just don't believe it! Do we have lunch at 9:30? No! We have lunch at 12! But, Nathan, you've already started yours. Last time, Dennis ate all his lunch before I even woke up! Riley sat on his orange and it burst! And Jeff put a chocolate ice cream in his butt, and yes, it melted. So remember, lunch is when?

Dale: At lunchtime!

Salazzle: Yes, yes, I know lunch is at lunchtime, but when?

Riley: 12!

Salazzle: 12! Correct! Now, I thought when I woke up, I wouldn't have to tell you what to do when we get to the train station, but then I remembered Dale's little gang decided they wouldn't wait for me to tell them what train to get on and before we knew it, Dale's gang were heading for the beach on their own! Now, when we get to the museum.... But you're not listening, are you, Chris? But then you didn't listen last time, and then you wondered why you sat on Riley's tail after Riley had already sat on it once! Now, when we get to the museum, do we run down the corridors? Do we scream? Do we slide on the floor? No we don't, no we don't, no we....

Louie: Yay! I have jam in my sandwiches!

Salazzle: Thank you Louie! That's enough! I'm very glad you've got jam in your sandwiches, Louie! We're all glad you've got jam in your sandwiches, Louie! But what's it got to do with sliding on the floor of the museum? Precisely nothing!

Louie looks sad.

Salazzle: I'm very sorry Louie, but nobody, nobody at all want to know about the jam in your sandwiches! Now, when you're ready, when you're quiet, we'll... Ben, why is your mp3 player now playing Shooting Stars?

Dale: He could be playing All Star!

Salazzle: Yes, I know it could be All Star, but that isn't what we're talking about now, is it, Dale? Louie! If I hear about your sandwiches, your jam or the jam in your sandwiches.... If I hear any of it once more, I shall give them to the ducks! Yes Riley. What do you want?

Riley: What ducks?

Salazzle puts a hand on on her face.

Salazzle: I don't know what ducks..... Any ducks! Right! When there's complete quiet, you can find your partner... Oh no. Not another..... Not another one of those chocolate ice creams, Jeff! Surely not! Dale! You cannot have Harry and Ben as your partner, because that's three and three doesn't mean partner. Right! When you're ready, let's go!

Ben's mp3 player starts to play who lives in a banana under a banana.

Salazzle: Why not leave your mp3 player behind, Ben?