Love Notes

Goodra writes a love note to Sandslash signed by Dragonite.

Dragonite fills a bucket with water. She ties some rope to it in the air. She then picks up a stone and throws it. It hits Goodra on the head. Goodra runs at Dragonite.

Goodra: Hey! Don't throw rocks at me!

Goodra triggers the trap by moving the rope. The bucket tips over and water falls on Goodra.

Goodra: I'm all wet!

Dragonite: It just proves that I can do more horrible things than you! You're just not mean enough!

Dragonite walks away.

Goodra: I am mean! I can do horrible things and I can do them to you!

Somewhere else.

Goodra: What am I going to do as revenge to Dragonite? I've never done revenge before! I could dig a hole and cover it up and let her fall in it! But she has wings, so she'd just fly over it! And I'm sure someone else would just fall in it!

Goodra looks out the window and sees Dragonite with Charizard.

Charizard: Have I told you how much I love you?

Goodra: Love? That's it! The perfect revenge!

Goodra goes on a computer and types something. She then prints it out then cuts it out into a heart shape.

Outside, Sandslash is there. Goodra has the note wrapped and tied around a rock. She throws it at Sandslash. It hits him on the head.

Sandslash: Ow! What is this?!

Sandslash picks it up and reads aloud.

Sandslash: "Dear Sandslash, I love you! Will youu marry me? You are the sexiest male in the world.... Signed Dragonite?!" I would rather die a virgin! Why would Dragonite love me?!

Kanga appears with a identical note.

Kanga: She doesn't! She loves me!

Sandslash: What?!

Sandslash takes his note.

Sandslash: "Dear Kanga, I love you! You smell so nice, like shampoo. Signed Dragonite." Ha! She means dog poo!

Kanga: You're just jealous!

Sandslash: As if I'd be jealous of you! Even if I don't love her, she's cheating on me already! I'm going to write a reply right now!

Sandslash writes on a piece of paper. Dragonite is sitting somewhere else. Kanga comes in.

Kanga: This is from Sandslash!

Dragonite takes the note.

Kanga: Do you really like my shampoo?

Dragonite: Is that your message?

Kanga: Fine! Be like that!

Kanga leaves.

Dragonite: "Dear Dragonite, I would never marry even if you were the last person on earth! I'd rather be with anyone but you! That includes males and Porygons! Besides, I don't do inter-species! Signed Sandslash?!" What?! What makes him think I want to marry him?!

Dragonite goes to Sandslash's home.

Dragonite: Sandslash! Open this door!

The door opens.

Porygons: Dragonite loves Sandslash!

Dragonite: I don't love you!

Sandslash gets the note out.

Sandslash: Then why did you write this note then?

Kanga: Yeah. And why did you write this note?

Dragonite: What?! I didn't!

Charizard arrives.

Charizard: What's going on here?

Sandslash: Dragonite loves me!

Charizard laughs.

Charizard: Dragonite loves Sandslash!

Dragonite: I don't love Sandslash!!!

Dragonite flies away. She lands near Goodra.

Dragonite: Goodra! Did you see anyone with a note near Sandslash?

Goodra: Err.... No!

Dragonite: Hmm.... I wonder who it is, then! I know lots of people who would do things like this! I know who it is, too!

Goodra: No! Please! I'm just a little girl!

Dragonite: It's Skarmory! He seems like the kind of person who'd do something like this! But then, it could be Mudkip, or Nidorina, or Mightyena, or Kecleon! I'm going to get revenge on them all! It's sure to be one of them!

Dragonite is typing on a computer and prints out several pieces of paper.

Dragonite: "Dear Kangaskhan, I love you, even though you smell like poo! I would love to kiss your feet, even though they stink of meat! When I say this, please don't frown, but your pants are falling down!" Ah! A great love poem! Just have to signed it off differently each time! I'll leave them lying around where she's sure to find them!

Dragonite puts the letters around. Kangaskhan finds them all.

Kangaskhan: Mudkip, Skarmory, Mightyena, Kecleon! Where are you?!

Goodra is with Nidorina. 

Nidorina: Don't you think this has gone a bit too far? Now my mum's getting involved! You have to call this all off and admit it was you who wrote those notes!

Goodra imagines her tied to a stick, being rotated over a fire by Dragonite.

Goodra I can't! Dragonite would kill me!

Goodra and Nidorina walk away. Charizard comes out of a nearby bush.

Charizard: It's true! Dragonite doesn't love Sandslash!

Sandslash is outside.

Sandslash: I know you wrote this! "Dear Sandslash, may I have your permission to mate with you? Signed Dragonite!"

Everyone: Ooh! Dragonite loves Sandslash!

Dragonite: I DIDN'T WRITE THAT!!!!

Kanga walks over and pushes Sandslash over.

Kanga: She wants to marry me! She wrote this note!

Dragonite: I DON'T LOVE YOU!!!

Kanga: Yes you do! And you're going to admit it! Even if I have to make you!

Kanga chases Dragonite. Everyone else follows. They all run past Kangaskhan, who has Mudkip and Skarmory.

Dragonite turns her head while running

Dragonite: You can't catch me!

Dragonite runs into a wall.

Dragonite: OK. Maybe you can!

Kanga: Right! Let's settle this love thing once and for all!

Charizard: Stop! Dragonite didn't write those notes!

Kanga: Then who did?

Kanga looks at Sandslash, who looks at Charizard, who looks at Nidorina, who looks at Goodra.

Goodra: I did.

Dragonite: You?!

Goodra: Yes.

Dragonite looks angry. Goodra runs away. Dragonite chases, while everyone follows. Goodra runs into Kangaskhan, knocking her over.

Kangaskhan: Goodra! You're coming with me!

Goodra: Thank you!

Goodra is sitting, bored. Dragonite comes in.

Goodra: It's all your fault, Dragonite! You said I couldn't do anything mean!

Dragonite: Well, that was pretty mean! How'd you like to be my friend?

Goodra: Really?

Dragonite: Yep! Here's my number!

Dragonite gives Goodra a folded piece of paper. Goodra opens it and water sprays in her face.

Dragonite: Sike! That's the wrong number!

Dragonite runs out of the room. Everyone who "wrote" the notes to Kangaskhan are all there.

Mudkip: Hey, Dragonite! We want a word with you!

Dragonite: Ah, sh*t!

Author's Note

The "wrong number" line is a reference to a meme.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuEQFzoGm4s