Nido Flu

Nidorina gets an illness called Nido Flu that only effects members of Nidorina's evolution family.

One Night, Nidorina was sleeping in her burrow with Mudkip. Outside, there was a storm with a strong wind. The wind was coming through the entrance and blowing on Nidorina.

The next morning, the storm had stopped. Mudkip woke up and Nidorina had done the same soon after. She looked horrible and pale. Her nose was dropping a black substance that looked like poisonous sludge. Nidorina went to the bathroom, or rather, she crawled there. When she got there, she pulled herself to her feet (which was a bit of a struggle) and had to lean on the sink to stay on her feet. She looked in the mirror and said with a voice that sounded like it had a blocked nose "Mudkip, I don't feel so good!"

"You don't look so good either! You got a cold?" asked Mudkip

"Don't be stupid, Mudkip! I don't get colds! I get Nido Flu!" replied Nidorina.

"Well, I'm staying away from you, then!" said Mudkip.

"Don't worry! It only effects Nidorans, Nidorinas, Nidorinos, nidoqueens and Nidokings!" Nidorina said.

"Do you have Nido Flu?" asked Mudkip.

"Of course I don't!" replied Nidorina. "If I did, I'd have gas coming out my nose!"

Nidorina then sneezed a purple gas came out as she did. "Well! There you go!" said Mudkip.

"I can't be sick. Cause then I'd have to miss work!"said Nidorina. She did not like to miss work.

"You should stay home!" said Mudkip. "You're sick!"

Nidorina shouted weakly "I'm not sick!"

Nidorina sneezed again. She grabbed her ears and put them over her nose as she did.

"That's disgusting!" said Mudkip.

Nidorina replied, "No, Mudkip! I like my ears like this!" and walks off.

Mudkip asked, "Where are you going?"

Nidorina replies, "I'm going to work!" and leaves.

Nidorina worked in a cafe. Nidorina was making a sandwich, looking very sick and incapable of doing very much. Nidorina's boss, Latias came in and asked, "Nidorina! What's taking so long?! I asked for a sandwich half an hour ago!"

Nidorina, on her hands and knees, offered the sandwich, and said pathetically "Here's that sandwich you wanted!"

Latias looked at Nidorina and said, "Nidorina! You look paler than a Dewgong!"

Mudkip told Latias what is wrong.

"Nido Flu?" said Latias, "You can't work in this condition!"

"I'm fine! Really!" insisted Nidorina.

Nidorina sneezed again, sending the sandwich flying and all over Latias. Latias wiped it off herself and said "OK, Nidorina! You're too sick to work!"

Latias sent Nidorina home and said, "Nothing personal! I just can't have you sneezing all over my food!"

Unfortunately, the customers heard this and think Nidorina has sneezed on their food and rush out in a panic.

Back at home Nidorina was sitting in a chair, looking worse than ever. She sneezed. Gas surrounded Mudkip. Mudkip covered his nose with his hands and said "God, that's stinks!"

"Oh, Mudkip! I feel like s**t!" said Nidorina.

Nidorina didn't swear very often, but sometimes, she couldn't help it. She sneezed again and her eye rolls out of place.

"What am I saying? I got Nido Flu, no doubt about it! I better do something before this gets out of hand!" said Nidorina. She picks up the phone and dials a number. A Kangaskhan picks her ringing phone.

"Hello?" said the Kangaskhan. The Kangaskhan didn't have a baby in it's pouch. This was because she didn't have one, so raised Nidorina instead. Of course, Nidorina was too old and big to go in the pouch anymore.

Nidorina replied "Mum? I'm sick! Can you take me to the doctors?"

Kangaskhan said "Sure! I'll be there faster than a Voltorb rolling down a hill at 200mph with nothing in the way....."

Nidorina interrupted "Yeah. OK. Thanks mum!" she sneezed again and gas comes through Kangaskhan's phone.

Nidorina waited for Kangaskhan to arrive. She hears someone knocking on the door. Nidorina opened it, thinking it's Kangaskhan. It wasn't. It was Skarmory.

"Hey! You going for a bike ride?" asked Skarmory.

Nidorina replied, "I'm sick, Skarmory! I'm going to the doctors!"

"You can't go, Nidorina! "said Skarmory.

"Why not?" asked Nidorina.

Skarmory came inside and said "I know this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy that went to the doctors once! It's a horrible place!"

Nidorina sat in the chair and replied, "It can't be any worse than having Nido Flu!"

"It is!" said Skarmory. "First, they make you wait for ages in a waiting room!"

"Is that the worst part?" asked Nidorina, unconvinced.

"No! It gets worse! They could do anything! They could poke you with needles!" said Skarmory. Nidorina hated injections and needles. Skarmory then said, "And the doctor could pull out his stethoscope..."

"NNNNOOOOO!" shouted Nidorina, convinced and hiding in fear.

"Yes!" continued Skarmory, "It's a torture device so icy cold, when it touches your bare flesh....." Skarmory put his foot on Nidorina and made a hissing sound. Nidorina leapt out of the chair and shouted "No waiting rooms! No needles! No operations! No stethoscope! I don't want to go to the doctors!"

"No! No you don't!" said Skarmory.

"You've gotta help me get better!" said Nidorina. "Please? Would you like to be my doctor?"

" Hell yeah!" said Skarmory.

Skarmory examined Nidorina. She sneezed. Gas came out as usual.

"Hmm..." thought Skarmory, "we need to stop this gas!" Skarmory then shoved corks in Nidorina's nostrils. Nidorina sneezed again, but no gas came out. However, pressure was building and Nidorina began to inflate. Each time she sneezed, she inflated bigger and bigger.

"Argh! I'm shrinking!" shouted Skarmory.

"No! You're stupid crap is working! I feel better already! In fact, I'm going to call mum and tell her not to come!" said Nidorina. Nidorina walked over to the chair and sat in it. Skarmory sat in another chair next to her. Nidorina picked up the phone and tried to press the buttons, but said, "My fingers are too big for the buttons! Skarmory! Can you call mum?"

Skarmory took the phone and called Kangaskhan. She picks up the phone. Skarmory said, "I'm calling on behalf of Nidorina!"

"I'm coming over to take her to the doctors!" said Kangaskhan.

"That is no longer needed! She's fine!" said Skarmory.

Kangaskhan said, "Well, I'm coming over to have a look! I'll be there faster than a Voltorb rolling down at hill at 200mph....."

Skarmory interrupted, "Oh my god! Shut your mouth! Nobody cares!" And hung up. He ran over to Nidorina and shouts, "Hurry, Nidorina! Your mum's coming! We gotta make sure you're well, or she'll take you to the doctors!"

Skarmory got a small glass over water and poured it over Nidorina. Skarmory then asks, "Feeling better?"

"No!" replied Nidorina, now with her head wet.

Skarmory held Nidorina upside down by her legs and asked, "How about now?"

"No!" replied Nidorina, feeling dizzy.

Skarmory tied a piece of string to a door handle, and tied the other end to one of Nidorina's teeth and slammed the door shut, yanking out a tooth.

"Feeling better now?" asked Skarmory.

"Not really!" replied Nidorina, now in a lot of pain.

Skarmory put a plaster on Nidorina's back and asked, "How about now?"

"No!" replied Nidorina.

Skarmory ripped off the plaster, making Nidorina scream in pain each time, then put the plaster in the same place, but in a different position and asked again. Everytime she replied no. Skarmory would repeatedly rip the plaster off and put it back on.

Kangaskhan arrives and knocks on the door. Skarmory, with a huge axe, has Nidorina in chains. 

"It's Kangaskhan!" said Skarmory. Nidorina sneezed, inflating her into a ball.

Outside, Kangaskhan heard Skarmory shout "There's no one home!"

Kangaskhan shouts back "Skarmory! You get out her!" She then says to herself, "Skarmory, you're a stupid idiot!" While she said this, Skarmory can be seen rolling Nidorina. Nidorina sneezed, so Kangaskhan walked over to Skarmory house and said, "OK, Skarmory! Now where's Nidorina?"

Skarmory thought for a moment and said, "she's having a piss at the moment! Please leave a message after the beep!" Skarmory made a beep sound that sounded exactly like a censor beep.

Kangaskhan then said, "OK, now tell me! Since when do you have a rock next to your house?" She pointed to a rock next to Skarmory's house. He replied, "Since I ran out of room to put my stuff!"

Kangaskhan the now asked "And since when do rocks have feet?" Nidorina's feet were showing.

Skarmory then replied "This is my mobile home!"

Nidorina sneezed, revealing herself. The rock is just mud.

"Hmmm...." thought Skarmory, "the mud treatment seems to be working fine!"

"Skarmory! Nidorina needs to see a real doctor!" said Kangaskhan.

"No she doesn't!" insisted Skarmory, "I'm taking good care of her! Show her Nidorina! Say 'ah!'"

Nidorina opened her mouth and said, "Ah!" Her breath destroyed plants and trees and killed some pokemon.

Kangaskhan said, "See? She's even worse than I thought!"

Skarmory, with a peg on his nose said, "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Kangaskhan rolled Nidorina away and said, "I'm taking you to the doctors now!"

Skarmory saw what Kangaskhan was doing, so shouted "Hey! That's my patient!" and ran after her. Skarmory pushed Nidorina back and said, "You can't take her to the doctors!"

Kangaskhan pushed Nidorina back and replied, "What're you talking about?!"

Skarmory ran, carrying Nidorina over his head and shouted, "Don't worry, Nidorina! I'll save you!"

Kangaskhan ran back and bounced Nidorina like a basketball and shouted, "You'll be better in no time!"

Skarmory and Kangaskhan both pushed Nidorina in opposite directions. This made Nidorina fly up in the air.

"Now look what you've done!" shouted Kangaskhan, stabbing a claw into Skarmory.

"Me?!" shouted Skarmory and then pointed at Kangaskhan and continued, "Everything was fine, till you showed up!"

Kangaskhan shouted back, "You should be arrested for impersonating a doctor!"

Skarmory yelled back, "Well, you should be arrested for...." Nidorina bounced uncontrollably away and shouted "Guys!"

Nidorina rolled down a hill, heading straight for Latias's cafe. Inside, Latias was counting money, when she heard Nidorina's shouting. She saw Nidorina coming straight towards the cafe, so ran out to the entrance and yelled, "Stop! No! Stop!"

Nidorina continued rolling, but stopped just in front of the cafe. Latias did a sigh of relief, but Nidorina sneezed again. The pressure had built up so much, that the corks came out of her nose and a huge cloud of gas came out of her nose, destroying the cafe.

Nidorina was finally taken to the hospital. The doctor, a Chansey, said to a Nidorina, "Well, it appears you have Nido Flu!" then he asks, "Are you ready for your treatment?"

Nidorina asks "You're not going to make me sit in a waiting room for ages, are you?"

The doctor replied, "Oh my God, no! You get the milk treatment! Miltank?"

A Miltank entered the room and gave Nidorina a glass of milk. Nidorina drank it and instantly felt better.

"I feel much better!" shouted Nidorina.

The Miltank gave Nidorina a lollipop. Skarmory wanted one, so got a paintbrush and splattered some rust-coloured paint on his chest and said to the doctor, "Hey, doctor! I got rust bacteria!"

The doctor replied, "Oh, yes, doctor Skarmory! We have something special for you!"

A giant hand grabbed Skarmory and started rubbing him against rough surfaces, and scraping him with a blade. Skarmory is then flushed down a toilet, who shouted, "This doesn't feel right!"

THE END