Beggars

I write em like i see em

Begging in the scorching heat,

Their hands extended,

Their faces beseeching,

Asking for something to eat.

 

A young boy sleeping on the ground,

Awakens and dons his sodden rags,

Ignoring the rumblings in his stomach,

Towards the road, his feet he drags.

 

His rags are covered in filth,

His eyes swimming with tears,

He walks towards the road,

Ignoring the children’s taunting leers.

 

He approaches a car on his protesting feet,

As if in a trance,

The light turns green, the car drives off,

Without a backward glance.

 

He stands where he is,

Not caring abut his health,

Wondering about,

The secrets of wealth.

 

Calling it a day,

On the pavement he lies,

Hoping that,

He dies, dies, dies.     

Author's Note

Revise the second last stanza someone.

Reviews

[joshua deathdealer]

Beggars can't be choosy.

[-Scribe in Style-]

Well written poem! I think you have enough suggestions to keep you pondering.
So i'm just here to say, I really enjoyed the message you have portrayed.

[Bertie]

A very poignant piece, the first stanza is like a metaphorical punch in the face !
You seem to have a talent for perspective.
I actually like the final stanza, I thin kthe simplicity and repetition is all that is needed.
Penultimate stanza is fine also but if your looking for something else...

He stands where he is,
Feet in the dust,
His hopes blown away,
By a hot, scorching gust.

Its not very good but it's all I got !

[DearSweetAgony]

WOW
I LOVE this poem.
Not many people can tell a story in their poetry like you can.
This is a wonderful poem!
It reminds me of Citizen Soldiers by Three Doors Down.
WONDERFUL JOB!

[arbitrary jane]

i so love to see poetry written about something besides our own struggles with our own miserable souls. (although...you know... that too)
i think the last stanza seems a little ... flippant. this poem deserves more.
totally riffing here, but maybe:

alone on his bed
of cold cement and despair
he wonders if even death
is too busy to care.

... or, something.

fight the good fight.

[Little Abbey]

I think the last stanza is okay, but I'm not too fond of the repitition of the word "Die". Perhaps it could flow like this: "Calling it a day, glancing towards the pavement in which he used to lie, he shakes his head in shame, hoping he might lay down and die".

I'm not sure if you like it anymore than what you wrote, but you are free to use what I suggested as well.

I loved this poem very much, and througout it I felt like I was close to the boy, and was longing for someone to help him. Excellent write!

[Omar Fendri]

tragic and heartwarming. the image of the miserable boy is just too touching. I worship the last stanza. Simple and beautifully written ;)

[Avoiry]

Good perspective switch. Empathetic in a way . I do like how you included the realism of the street light waiting points , it gives the piece a modern feel .

[Ichthus Reality]

What a great message for a poem :) I love it!

[Miss Sally Sunshine]

That. Is really sad, but still a really good poem. It flows nicely. Good job :)