Night

Just came out of nowhere.

The hawk spreads its wings

And soars into the sky

In the throat of the lark

The gentle note dies

 

Flitting through the trees

A deadly game of tag

Their shadoes follow

With a slight, unpleasant lag

 

Time stands still

A deathly trance

Nature watches transfixed

Their mortal dance

 

A scream pierces the air, and the heavens weep

The devil laughs loud and long.

The winds howl, the oceans roar.

An eerie swan song.

 

The spirit moves on

Its work is done.

Light is past

And darkness begun.

SOUL LESS

Author's Note

Suggest a better title...and some constructive criticism. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Mayhaps the game of death? I don't know, but this is amazing!!!!!!! I love your choice of words, how elegant they sound. And I love the way you showed the larks death like a loss of innocence, "...the heavens weep/ the devils laugh, loud and long" I have to admit, this is one of the best random pieces I can recall reading:) Great Work!!!:)

[Michael X]

Great poem, captures the essence of gothic!

[Frontier]

Bravo, bravo!
How beatifully dark, romantic. Lovely flow.
Kind of reminded me of a brooding Robert Frost.
If you will, please review my poem.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

A Mortal dance sounds fair for me!
Quite a remarkable piece of art

[Lost in Wonderland]

Intruiging (if thats how you spell it), dark, and lovely analogy. Overall its very well written, but for the 4th stanza, i would split the first line into 2. Just a thought. Great poem:)
God Bless

[Kaylor Mason]

Sounds more like an empty spirit that preys on all the lesser beings in the night, when hunting season opens. Spiritual hunting season . . . maybe that would make a cool name. Or perhaps Heaven's Fall. Or something . . .

[SOUL LESS]

Heaven's fall seems all nice and mystic...lol...I'll take it :)

[Kaylor Mason]

Cool. Glad I could help :)

[EmoVampyrePoet]

Though I agree with them, you have a thing for poetry (just like me)...I advise you, as a fellow poet/writer, to first WRITE what you're thinking of writing, then, once you're finished, think of a name for your masterpiece!

[tanaya]

Wow... This is amazing! I love the language and the emotion you exressed in this is just wow! Great work!

[paradise]

I love this alot of details and mini stories very creative
really good job
I dont have much to criticise abt I like it all.
Exept for the title I think there are different ones you can use
But nice poem

[TWISTED NIGHTMARE]

i really like this...great write and thanks for sharing