Broken...

I hang upon a tree

A veiled cocoon

Dreaming my dreams

Scared by my nightmares

I try to speak, and the world stifles me

I try to breath and the world suffocates me

I try to protest and the world breaks me

And I lie upon the ground

A shattered chrysalis

SOUL LESS.

Author's Note

I am not usually this morbid a poet,but I had a fever for two days and thus this poem:P Suggest a better title than broken.

Reviews

[Moebia]

Wow, this is amazing. There's lots of emotion and you expressed it very well. :)

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

A very interesting poem. I love it's dark and subtle nature. And the fact that it says so much with only a few lines. Exceptional writing. A title I would suggest if you wouldn't mind me suggesting would be 'Dreams Hung on Trees'. Or something along those lines. There's not a word or line out of place in your poem. "I try to speak, and the world stifles me I try to breath and the world suffocates me I try to protest and the world breaks me" is such thought provoking to read. A absolute favourite that says so much to me and how I feel at present.

[qaralynn]

sad and beautiful..

[Alicante lullaby]

have you read Anne Sexton's Bat...i dont want to sound funny but hanging on a tree is a bit batish,isn't it.

[J.M]

That was really beautiful - vivid and sad. I especially love the end and the way the world seems to be holding you down until you break. Nice piece.

[Rose Masen]

Your emotions speak so vividly in this.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I feel exactly like this at the moment.I like the analogy of a veiled cocoon.

[Katie Marie]

beautiful poem, but so sad...i've had these moments (and im sure everyone else has too) so this poem could relate to so many people...

keep on writing :)

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This is a really sad, but great write. I really can relate to the piece...because I feel broken anyways..so good job. Thanks for sharing.

[GamingGal]

Pros: Beautiful imagery. Truly beautiful. And a good idea behind the entire poem as well. A very well-written piece of poetry, if I may say so.

Cons: None.

Overall: I enjoyed this poem. It was saddening, with a touch of beauty.