Super Powers

Description of a War scene from the mental angle - and physical:)

Once in a corner of this dear earth,

A threesome started a fight.

To decide on that fateful day,

Who was wrong, and who was right.

 

Spoke One:

When the angel of hope flies away.

When a shadow is cast over the world,

Blocking all light from the heavens above.

When even Satan bows his head in shame,

As to its master, a dog lame.

 

When a man comes home, to find it destroyed.

And through the thick of smoke and fire he sees,

His child and wife naught but lifeless forms.

Is he not entitled to hate?

Is his need not dire?

 

Rose the second in retaliation:

Do they not attack us (Super powers)?

What would you call those suicide bombings?

Killing is brutal, but suicidal murder.

Repugnant to even the vilest of beings.

 

Those whom you say are harmless,

Are races of deadly terrorists

Determined to slaughter innocent civilians.

We do them naught but justice.

 

 

 

Said the third in rising indignation:

When the wells are filled with blood not water,

When even the mightiest buildings collapse.

When a baby crawls to his mother’s side,

Not to find a warm hug, but a lifeless corpse.

 

Is it justice to let a mother die

Beating at her son’s simmering body?

Is it justice to break the deepest bonds of humanity,

For a few nations, the super powers, to live in luxury?

 

SOUL LESS. 

2009  

 

Author's Note

One of my very first poems. Hope you like it. I'm starting out and need constructive criticism.

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

-Hello-

This is VERY touching and so close to home for us all...
The 'super powers' have abused their powers in so many instances
it should be that we are all equal without having to use words like 'super powers'
but this is not the case.

This touched me, it is a good piece of writing.
And thank you for reading ..

Chloe

[LostInThis]

I can hardly believe this is one of your first poems, it's so wonderfully written.

It's more like a story, especially the third one, but more like a beautiful story.

[Sarusai Hiryu]

Nice work...agree with Fabian.

[morningstar]

theres not much to critisize on this one. its REALLY good. shows some real talent

[deeps]

so very touching I must agree with Chole. This has alot of emotion in it. Well expressed.

[Briana Collins]

I love it :D

[.]

. brilliantly written ... brilliantly expressive and communicative ... i cannot begin to tell you how much terrorism terrifies me ... here in southeast asia where i live ... particularly the indian sub continent ... the loss of lives is tragic beyond measure ... in fact, i was just reading another poet's story a short while ago, and the thoughts i expressed were about the need to teach the United Nations Charter of Human Rights to everyone ... those who turn people into suicide bombers through emotional and psychological manipulation need to respect the human rights of the person they are manipulating ... and those who are getting manipulated need to know that it is their human right to not get manipulated ... but none of our governing bodies are listening ... it's so critical that everyone from all nations should be trying to make every citizen aware of human rights ... that can be the only way to prevent such macabre and grotesque human rights violations ...

. thank you for writing this ... these protests are essential ... rather critical in today's times ... and not enough can be said in favour of humanity and human rights ... we should all campaign for greater human rights awareness as often as we can ...

It's pretty good, a little overbearing at parts, and off beat in some lines, but a good first poem :)

[Kate Hunter]

nice job.
very well written with vivid imagery and mood to the voice.

[An owl on the moon]

The word justice stood out to me here... All that is done in the name of what is right and good... yet takes the lives of the innocent.. it is filled with shame... Your confessions here brilliantly point out such horrors in the world today.

[Red Brick Keshner]

What I liked about this poem is it's poetical dialogue. This provides the poem depth and complexity, allowing for the three points of view to be represented somewhat equally. The use of archaic syntax and words is used sparingly so it does not become an annoyance but provides a "feel" and tone to the poem. In the Second's retaliation, though: "Do they not attack us (Super powers)?" IMO it might flow more smoothly if the Super Powers could be incorporated into the line rather than as an addendum - something like: Do the Superpowers not attack us? Just a thought, it may or may not work for you - but I'm putting it out there. Cheers.