Trouble in Domino

The shy Ryou Bakura meets the devilish spirit of the Millennium Ring - Yami Bakura - after he has found himself a true body - not Ryou anymore. Nobody would think the spirit would like the shy one.

Trouble in Domino

As Bakura gently let go of Ryou, he looked away from the shy one, before clearing his throat. Through Ryou's mind was tons of questions, all relating to what just happened between the two of them just now. Ryou shyly looked towards Bakura, blinking, before Bakura stood up and headed towards the door.

"Farewell Ryou." Bakura said, before walking out, leaving him all alone again.

"B-Bye..." Ryou said, sounding rather sad. He thought Bakura was wanting to be by his side once again, but it seemed he didn't want to be.

************

As Ryou headed home, after leaving the hospital, his arm bandaged up, and his body still hurting from the pain, he was shocked to see that Joey was picking on other little kids. This wasn't like Joey at all, this was more like someone else was in control of him. Just as Ryou went to run over to Joey, to try stop him, Yugi came up to Joey and shook his head, and Joey stopped. What was going on? Ryou had no idea, but he knew that whatever it was, it seemed like some kind of nightmare. This couldn't be real. His friends would never do that to him.

He slowly walked by them, as soon as they had finished beating kids, but he got grabbed, once again, by Joey. He struggled to try get free, and it seemed that not even Yugi was going to stop this. Sweet, kind Yugi. The same Yugi who had everyone's best interest at heart and was always ready to do the right thing, wasn't going to tell Joey to put him down. Something was clearly wrong, and Ryou didn't understand at all.

"Stay away from us." Was the first thing Yugi said to him. He seemed scared of Ryou, and Ryou wasn't a scary person.

"Yeah!" Joey said, sounding rather angry, and ready to fight.

"W-What did I-I do?" Ryou blinked, confused as to why his friends would turn on him. Then suddenly it all made sense, and Pharaoh - Yugi's other side - suddenly figured it out, and took over the small one.

"Joey." The Pharaoh said, in his deep voice. "Put Ryou down." Pharaoh had realised that the person they were actually after was Bakura, and that even though him and Ryou used to be one, they weren't anymore, so they had no reason to harm the shy one.

"Why?" Joey asked, clearly not having realised.

"Him and Bakura aren't one anymore. They are now different people. However, they still look very similar, although their personalities are not." The Pharaoh explained, as Joey let go, dropping Ryou to the ground with a thud.

As Pharaoh explained everything to Joey, to try make him understand, after having helped Ryou back to his feet, he seen a dark figure, in a black trench coat walk past. A figure who looked exactly like Ryou. Bakura.

"Hey you!" Joey shouted, going over to the dark half.

"What do you want, Wheeler?" Bakura sighed, rolling his eyes, speaking with his usual dark tone.

"I want payback for the beat down you gave Tristan, Duke and I the other day!" And with that, he swung at Bakura, but instead of hitting him, he hit Ryou. Ryou had gotten in the way to protect Bakura, and this surprised not only Bakura, but Joey and the Pharaoh as well.

"What are you doing Ryou?" Bakura said, clueless to as why the shyer side protected him.

"Y-You know I-I don't like violence." Ryou said in his quiet voice. "P-Please don't h-hurt him Joey." He looked at the tall blonde, and he just shrugged.

"Why should I?" Joey asked.

"H-He was o-only protecting m-me, from w-when you a-attacked me." Ryou's voice was getting quieter and quieter. Even though Joey was his friend, he was still shy around everyone. He didn't like it when his friends fought, and even though he knew himself Bakura had done something he shouldn't have, he wasn't wanting him to get hurt. Deep inside him, Ryou had always had feelings for Bakura, more than just feelings for caring for a friend. However, he had always been too shy to reveal anything to him, but he knew that at some point, he would have to tell him. Sooner or later.

"Fine." Joey sighed, heading over towards Yugi, who was now in control of himself, and not the Pharaoh.

"Why did you do that Ryou?" Bakura questioned the shy one, as Yugi and Joey walked off in the direction of the Game Shop. He was clearly confused to why Ryou would protect him from Joey.

"To protect you." Ryou said, looking down to the ground, with a quiet voice. "To say t-thank you." He was really shy around Bakura now, especially with his feelings for the darker half. Bakura just chuckled, running his hands through the white-haired boys hair, before smirking,

"You don't need too." The darker half smirked, in a dark evil way, which made a shiver run throughout Ryou's body. This dark smile that Bakura always gave, was just his normal smile, and Ryou was glad to see that.

Author's Note

This is a FanFiction I am trying to write, based on the shipping of Yami Bakura and Ryou - Tendershipping. Anything relating to Yu-Gi-Oh, I don't take an credit for any of it.

Reviews

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
While I certainly don't encourage violence, you are using some sentences above that could be considered generic and non-descript. Remember, a good story is one that pulls you right into it so you are actually living and reading what is going on.

This sentence for instance is a little confusing and convoluted.

"He slowly walked by them, as soon as they had finished beating kids, but he got grabbed, once again, by Joey."

And it is not really going in detail what is happening. Think of it like a movie. A movie wouldn't just use words like, "beating kids," it would explain what happened. They got punched ? Where ? Where did this take place ? Time of day ? What was the dialogue ? What was the reason ?

The emotions ? The anger ? Was it a lesson to be learned ? Why ? All of these questions.

The more descriptors you can add to your story the easier it is for the reader to follow it. When someone has to use what I call the 'generic' imagination, it pulls them more from a story as they have to find a 'setting' in their mind in order to place the non-specific words that don't paint a picture in their mind.

You don't want this.

You want them to be in YOUR world, not theirs, so definitely add enough descriptions so they are right where you want them - in your story, and clear-as-a-bell they are following word-for-word exactly what is going on.

Please consider.

[FanFicWriter]

Thank you very much, I appreciate this. I will definitely take into consideration what you have said about the description of the story. Thank you.

[dw817]

As Red-Green says in his Mid-Life Musings, "Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together." :)

[FanFicWriter]

Thanks. :)

[Kato Uchiha]

Sweet ! It's good to see a yu-gi-oh kind of book out there... i'll enjoy reading the rest !!

[FanFicWriter]

Thanks.