Pt 1

A Chapter by FallynAngyl

YOU
You want to watch out for me,
when it is you who
hurts me.
This is my fate,
my life of misery and hate,
They will never know,
never feel, never see,
what it is that my heart
has to say.
even if they do they
will never understand.

STOP
Stay away from me,
Don't hurt me,
don't look at me,
Don't speak to me,
Stop lying to me,
Stop hurting me,
stop telling me that I am
and always will be
NOTHING.
for I am not,
I am but a shadow
in a world of lies and deceit.

ALONE
I am alone,
I always will be alone,
you have seen to that,
I guess that I have been
told so many times that
i am nothing , ugly,
useless,and worthless
that I have finally come to
accept it as truth.
I have come to accept that
as truth.
i will always be alone,
that I will always be Nothing,
worthless, unimportant,
you have seen to the fact
that i will always be
alone, have no one,
nothing,nothing but my thoughts
my secrets, my pain, hate, feelings
and heart are kept to myself,
never to be shared,
never to be seen,
I am and always will be alone,

Shadows
a shadow watching
the world go around me,
never changing,
never noticing the girl
in the shadows,
hiding in the shadows afraid
to feel, knowing that
she will always be alone,
forced to live a life
of silent pain.
a life alone, no matter
how loudly that she screams,
no matter what she does,
whe will never be seen for
the person that she is,

A CHILD
I will always be seen as the
child who believes that she doesn't
belong with her peers,
being the child trying to be an adult,
Never will they see
that I am far more
of an adult than most.

FORCED
I have been forced into a life
that I do not want,
Forced by thier words,
and their beliefs,
Told by so many that
I will never be loved,
never hapy, never will I
be at peace in this so called Life.
I have come to believe them
when they say
that I will always be
alone, worthless, nothing,
useless and helpless,
I am told so,
therefor I am.
Yet deep down under the
crushed spirit,
I feel there must be something more.
But I do not believe that i will ever find it.

TO MY KILLERS
You know that you have won,
Why do you continue?
Why aren't you
satisfied until you see
my blood spilled?
Don't you know that I have given up
fighting you?
I can not say why I have.
You love their games,
Their insults, Their lies,
Why do you continue what
they have started?
Their words cut
straight through me,
I can act as though
it does not bother me,
I can say that I don't care
what they say,
But when you join them,
Then it become more than what
I can take.

I have taken their s**t
all of my life,
Do you know how long that is?
How short of time it will be?
perhaps you will read this,
and see how much your words
have hurt me,
and how long I have kept
my feelings to myself.
There was a time that I disliked you,
but I have never hated you,
I may hate what you have become,
I have realized long ago
that I would always be alone,
You have told me so.

I can take their insults, putdowns,
and torments but when you
tell me something as
simple as "f**k you"
for some reason it hurts me more
than a shot to the heart,
It is supposed to be that
I receive unconditional love,
I am your daughter,
Why do treat me as if
I am an intruder in your lives?

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