(untitiled)

More of a Ballad type of poem, a story but a poem.

my fridge smells bad.

and my cats are fighting.

this poem is gonna suck.

because im not an emo freak like everyone else

hah you all are gay

because your overdramatic, and unrealistic.

you think all your hearts are broken when their not.

you cry yourself to sleep to make it seem like you have real problems.

you feel sorry for yourself because no one cares about you.

you make it so you dont smile when people are around.

you wear dark clothes to try to draw attention away.

BUT REALLY

my fridge still smells bad.

and my cats are still fighting.

this poem is better than yours because its not about a broken heat and love

and i like not being depressed and cutting myself.

you are all still gay

and you are all really overdramatic,

you may think your not but guys, your just like little girls and girls your probably right no one does like you and ohh i wonder why? because you go around trying to make everyone feel sorry for you...OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE KNOW YOU CUT YOURSELF WHEN YOU WEAR LONGSLEEVES IN SUMMER OR WRIST BANDS, they are not stylish.

stop craving attention its really not that great.

if you think your life sucks then it will.

you DO NOT need a girlfriend of boyfriend to have fun

they suck and its not worth it.

dont think that just because someone doesnt want to be with you that your life is over

and deffenatly do not think you have found your soul mate because there isnt such a thing.

yea i can understand you get attached to your firsts, but really if your not firsts with eachother then pretty much you mean nothing to them but a good time.

get over it.

you all suck...

emo freaks.
 

Author's Note

Dont get pissed, im expressing my opionion like everyone else, mine is just on other things besides how the wind stung my wrist after i cut myself today haha ew

Reviews

[Niki Disaster]

It's always healthy to express your self, everyone has an opinion on everything... Just maybe next time it would be more positive if you expressed yourself in a more creative way, rather then just bashing those that you have animosity towards. You started off really well, and in the middle, it just became insulting.

[Nicole Hellene]

aha!!!hahahah hahha aahaha!!!!!! ahahahahhahaahahaha ooohhhhh man...............hah.

you wear dark clothes to try to draw attention away.
BUT REALLY
my fridge still smells bad.

lol I remember the word "emo" was invented something like 3 years ago, I heard my little sis using it and I was like "isn't that a big ostrich-like bird thing?"

Oh gosh that's it you're my hero and yeah this poem did kinda suck in the poetic sense but it was so bad that it was good, if that makes any sense at all. Loved it and please keep being as insulting as you will to whomever you want.

[DaniElle LaPointe]

Yes you are right... attention is not all that great... Especially if it comes to praise the negative. Interesting submission. Welcome to the cafe. I hope you continue to submit more... I am sure your perspective is very fresh compared to some of the complainers on here....

[Corey Lunare-]

holy straight forward. lol. some people could find some easy rebutles for this but i chose to say nothing. Some people drink to stave pain, others smoke or do drugs. Emo's cut. i choose to ignore that fact and like the person anyways. I'm sure u have an abscene way fo dealing with things too. i do like how ope you are with all your views tho, someone who will tell u what they think of u right upfront i take it. i wouldn't classify this as a poem but more a collaboration of rants and raves lol. I enjoyed this nevertheless, some pretty strong words for somone so young. maybe you should take ut your anger on those who are causing whatever it is that makes u so angry bout this. No all people who cut are emo. i do not support it and nor am i against it. people are free to do wat they wantwith their lives. ur opinion is interesting tho. good job.

[Rosary]

im just going to say this ignorance is bliss

[Life Inside Death]

lol i felt like i was on trial when i read this
im not emo but come on! this was brutal even to me
or maybe i am emo o_O
oh man...
i dont think i am...
but a lot of my work is about heartache...whatever
i don't cut my wrists sooooo...
but anyway...
i dont know if i like this or not
i dont think its cool that youre dissing people for having a rough time, which is basically what emos are
but on the other hand its something different...sort of
personally, i think youre in denial
but hey, more power to you
just think about yourself before you call someone else out

[M. Amphet Salt]

Well... Good opinionated poem and you have your right to that, but before I critique I must point out that I wear long sleeve and fish nets in the summer and I am not a cutter. Emo is a fairly new stereotype and don't get the goth dress confuse the Goth and Punk cultures Emo is a break off from Goth and the dress for both can be identical, the difference is that Goths embrace the darkness and love the beauty of life; however, the little emos are usually confused little children that have taken Marilyn Manson to heart and just think what they do is cool. I agree that you do not have to cut yourself to be cool.

Now on with critique. I noticed some grammer errors. You wrote,

"this poem is better than yours because its not about a broken heat and love

and i like not being depressed and cutting myself."

The heat should be heart and in the next should read, and I am not being depressed, cutting myself.

There are quite a few of these.

The prose is original and is wrote in a good free verse form, you have presented good imagery such as you frigdge stinking, as well as some good humor. You place to much attitude in calling people "gay", but that is your opinion and nicely stated if you intend on grabbing attention.

Over all in its originality it is a good poem, though it is a little racy for my taste. Just fix your grammer errors.


H. Duane Sharpe

[Angelic Darkness]

I think this poem is about you, and your pain, and how you feel.
It's very blunt and to the point, which I give kudos to. Most people
probably wished they could put what you have into words or else
be more verbal, and that may be your problem...you wish to be more verbal.

I liked this. I thought you expressed yourself with a lot of passion. I did not take offense and so what if others do. You have a right to be different! I like this poem!