Killed

I was searching for someone,

to hold once and feel,

what its like to love the one

not knowing real is unlike reel.

But surprisingly I found myself

while searching in the deep abyss

head down, tears rolling hating every inch of herself

screaming into the void, at her broken bliss.

I knelt down to meet her gaze

innocence dripping out

the world looked blurry and she looked fazed

didn't have the strength to shout.

My eyes watered at the sight

at the miserable nights

spent with fake smiles,

wet pillows and dry cries.

My eyes watered at all the times

i lost my sense and insight

at all the failed attempts

to find myself in the light.

My eyes watered thinking about the ways

i hurt myself for something

thats not worth the pain

i killed myself in a thousand ways.