Lying to Myself

One more time

Then never again…

I disconnect from you.

And muffle my senses

From the blaring empathy,

As my focus turns inward.

The suffering ringing my guts…

My instinctual need to cope…

Compelled, 

I take this key you keep.

Detaching from impact,

I paint this as harmless,

Since you never miss,

That which is barely gone.

Justifying through the frame

Of equating our wrongs,

Alone, I even the score,

Alone, I lie to myself,

More than I’m lying to you,

With the ‘one more times’,

And ‘never agains’.