Les

A poem remembering my late boyfriend, who died by suicide a year ago.

In just one split of an instant 

Life force entirely withdrew 

With your vitality vanished 

I find myself severed in two 

As heavens expand between us

I fear I’ll recall less each day… 

So, I think back through the senses

To keep time’s forgetting away 

I’ll always smell you as diesel

From the truck you tried to repair 

And later, the antiseptic 

Congealing the hospital air

I can still taste the cheap cigars 

We inhaled as an attempt to cope 

The blandness of the Psych Ward’s meals 

where you hid your disorder’s scope 

I almost still hear your singing 

Of single half-melodic lines 

Always found it quite endearing

How you’d repeat them so many times 

And, while your laughter still cuts me

It’s Your voice I try to repress

The sound of its damage haunting 

Scarred, by the life support process 

I still see the flash of brilliance 

Intensely piercing through your eyes

But yet, with a sense of softness

When returning silent replies 

And I still feel your energy

In brief moments I feel in tune

So, I remember through senses

Until we will meet again soon

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Your final stanza is painful, Falling Awake, truly is - if that to me, goodness knows how deeply for you.
From start to finish you display, create, tell - the stages of how it was for both beloved and sufferer; words that hit - sharply, painfully. Your words are both sadness and yet a sort of admiration then.. that final phrase full of forever forever and - and even then. Hug.

[Falling Awake]

THANK YOU! thank you so very much for reading, relating, and reviewing. I don't get many of these so it means a lot to me, and this poem has a very deep place in my heart, as this person meant the absolute world to me. thanks for interpreting my poem as I intended and placing some meaning to my pain