Whisper on the Wind

A poem about separation from a loved one, but always looking on the brighter side.

Which way does the wind blow?

Please carry my song

All the cold night long.

Carry it all the way back home.

 

How far does the wind blow

When I call your name?

Nothing stays the same,

But life hurts when you’re alone.

 

Does the wind blow across the sea?

Call to me.

Don’t let me be.

Our star will never lose its light.

Every night,

Just hold on tight.

 

How hard does the wind blow?

Please carry my cry.

Never let it die,

And never let it go.

 

How loud does the wind blow?

Whisper on the breeze,

Make it ‘cross the sea.

There are things my lover needs to know.

 

Can my heart sail across the sea?

Comfort me

And never leave.

Then my heart will be brought to life.

Hold me tight.

Make it alright.

 

Which way does the wind blow?
Please carry my song

All the cold night long.

Please bring it all the way back home.

Author's Note

This was simply a poem that I wrote during a hard time to keep me going, so I do not need huge critiquing, as I am not looking to improve it. I would just like to get feedback on how it really is.

Reviews

[Belator Books]

A fine example of what love is: unselfishness... the holding on each day through the mundane to learn to appreciate love's simple beauty. I liked very much the line about 'our star'; quite lovely. I admire an off-kelter rhyme scheme in personal poems; such always seems more real then iambic pentameter. Nicely done.

[Aria]

Home is sometimes too far away for our own good. And usually, home is inide of someone we love and when we're apart, well, we end up homeless. The wind is a reminder of feeling something that we cannot see. And it's a great form of transportation. So, I liked your poem and I hope that your message made it home.

[Joseph - Michael]

This sure is nice piece you've created after the hard expereinces... We all write from our hearts to pour the negative feelings out, so we can move on...

From what I see of this writing... I truly do believe that it's a great inspiration piece for the readers who are in the need to look at the positive things... And I believe it would help the others as well...

On the other hand, it's a very well expressed, not just from your mind, but from your heart, so keep it up and you'll find everything much easier to move on. So, it's all still great tho...

[Arthur Crow]

The sense of longing is eloquent and deeply felt, beautifully expressed words. I sometimes think the wind speaks the voice of the soul with haunting emotion.

[emmajoy]

A sad yet not too unhopeful poem.. something felt very strongly, i think..

it's beautifully written.. fine meter and flow.

won't say more, just that it's a lovely read, somehow tranquil.

thank you for sharing.

[kollaboratyve]

A masterful work!!!!!!! I enjoyed every word, and could feel the mood of it. You have taken a simple everyday reality like the wind and woven it into a living character. The rhythm and imagery jumps out an grabs the reader. I could not think of a better featured piece on any writers site. Keep on writing such revealing and powerful poetry. I hope to see you get a noble, you are just that good!. Great things lay in your future. Be encourage and write, write,write!!!!!

[Krishna]

You have some talent for setting a poetic scene, young one, I guess i'd suggest you read a lot of poetry to and continue to write to find your own style.

I love all that you did with the 'Which way does the wind blow?' line, I thought it was very sweet. the rhyming is pretty if a bit simplistic. Nice job!

[Kurt Gargis]

I liked it! For myself, as I was reading it, it kinda had a chanting feel to it that was very pleasing to read out loud. Great expression of feeling!

[Sami]

I Like it. It does express a painful feeling but when i read it also seemed to sound very hopeful. Maybe it just depends on what mood your in when you read it. =D

[PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALI..]

I felt your pain! Great poem, love it!
A great person once said "tough times never last, but tough people do!
You showed your toughness in this piece!
Not only could I hear your heart but I could also feel the pain in your soul across this sea!
Keep writing not only from a artistic point but to also heal your soul!
Good luck with all your future work!
TIM