She Stands Out

Without a doubt
Miles away from ordinary
She stands out
So brilliant, it's scary
As she enters into the room
Every head turns
In full bloom
A beauty too profound for words
Carrying the sun in her smile
And moonbeams in her eyes
Her Venusian style
So easily recognized
Her smile hides all her worries
And makes yours melt away
Boy, you'd better hurry
If you've got something to say
Because she's not one to wait around
She'll arrive with a whisper
And be gone without a sound
That's her
Lightyears from ordinary
There can be no doubt
She stands out.

Reviews

[Destiny]

I like that you took commonly used similes and metaphors, and made them unique. It was very descriptive which helped the reader get a better understanding this woman even if she's "A beauty too profound for words".
There is a lovestruck element here that I think makes this piece what it is. The way you describe this person in such awe puts the reader in that rooms with you. There is also a smooth playful narrative here that plays like a movie in your mind. Very nice. Thanx for writing.
♥Destiny♥

[Colette]

You must have met me somewhere along the line! haha ;)

Love it. I just bought your pet on myspace, so thought the least I could do is check out your poetry. Glad I did. :)

Colette www.myspace.com/artistcg

[wizthom]

the rhyme was like a song to an angel.

u started out strong held the attention,,mid way.however the ending was just too weak..there i fixed it

She'll arrives with a whisper
leaves with heartbeats of thunder
Lightyears from ordinary
There can be no doubt
She stands out.

[Constance]

This is good. I like the smooth rhyme. It would be even better if you tried playing with the meter, but as is, it's a solid enough write. Your emotions are clear and vivid.

[Sarajane]

This is very sweet. I really like how it reads, with the similies and metaphors and such.

[Rambling Prose]

I absolutely love the imagery you've painted in this piece. Your use of metaphors creates a gracefully smooth progression most pleasing to the mind's eye.

I'm especially fond of these lines:

"Carrying the sun in her smile - And moonbeams in her eyes - Her Venusian style - So easily recognized"

"She'll arrive with a whisper - And be gone without a sound"

~a lovely write~

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Lovely ode to someone obviously very special.

These lines especially caught me:
'She'll arrive with a whisper
And be gone without a sound' - great!

Wonderful read. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[closed account]

I like this, this was very sweet. I like how you ended the poem with the titile!! great