Pictures of you

So I wrote this in 2 minutes at 2AM. I'm not really sure what it is, all I know is that it's hopelessy disjointed. A work in progress shall we say.

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I can almost see you blink.
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I no longer know what to think.

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
Wishing I too could press pause in that moment,
Still smelling the sweetness of your breath and the softness of your grip.
My whole being validated by yours.

But I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
Because these pictures have all I've got.
You left with due warning, which I chose to ignore.
You were my drug and oh how I was addicted.
You were my light but now you're my darkness

Oh how I wish I could forget,
But I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
They're everything that I have left.

Author's Note

Excuse the disjointed nature I'm working on it. Probably some spelling mistakes too, please point any you may see out.

Reviews

[Mari K]

I wouldn't call this disjointed per say. You did start off with a rhyme scheme that you abandoned after the first stanza, but this isn't bad work at all really. In stanza two, think more like

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
Wishing I too could pause in time
Still smelling your sweetness, feeling your soft gentle touch
Your whole being validates mine

Overall, the idea and the feelings are there though. Keep writing

[Cool Girl]

This actually is very very good! I really don't see anything wrong with it! You're talented, dear friend! Keep on writing :)

[Fallen Phoenix]

Thank you!! That's very kind of you!

[Cool Girl]

You're welcome!