No Lifelong Love

Please listen to the song at the bottom while reading.

I've thought back on this life.

I've found out that you nor i did anything wrong..

We just made the world see that we are ourselves..

Nothing we were ever taught could show us the dark in the souls of our loved ones..

Hold me dear..

Hold me near..

Hold me when I die in your arms tonight..

Let me shine in your darkest hour..

Hush your lips as I gently kiss your neck..

Feel my trembling breath which each demise..

Taste the last disregard for my memories..

The last breath I'll draw will be in our final kiss..

Make me last but a second longer..

Make me feel but a bit stronger..

As i lie dying in your arms..

Will you remember my final moments?

Will you care for everyone you love?

I'll stare blankly at the candle you lit for me..

For even in death we cannot be apart..

Kiss me like you never kissed me in vain.

Kiss me again.

Feel the pulsing of my chapped and faded lips..

Let the itching pain fall into your sanity..

Remember me for all i was not..

Remember me for all i could not do..

I won't say farewell my love..

I can't..

Lay me down in my cold grave..

Lay me down in my casket and say farewell..

Author's Note

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EQ6eHeBrhM&feature=related

Listen to it while reading.

Honest opinion

Reviews

[Caradoc]

A very somber, melancholy piece. The last words of a dying man or woman. Thematic in my opinion. I can see this poem being read at the end of a tragedy, in a scene at a cemetery, all the "Dark Souled" loved ones gathered round. Personally, I would take the whole thing and carve it into a gravestone. It makes a very...impactful epitaph.

My favorite lines are;

"Remember me for all i was not..
Remember me for all i could not do.."

They would make a good voice over at the beginning of a movie. On another note, the song you included a link to? I have it in my iTunes. It was an interesting surprise when I followed the link to a song I already have.

So, honest opinion? I liked it. Very much so. Good job. The only thing I would change is that you don't capitalize all of your "i"s like you should. A minor error easily fixed that doesn't really hurt the message of the poem. So, well done.

-Caradoc

[Chris]

Poetry is a verbal art... an auditory skill... this coupling is amongt the most powerful and potent...

Thank you for breathing life into this.
Chris

[Daytonight]

So very sad it tugs at my heart strings. Keep on penning.

[Carrion.]

very emotional. :l it made me feel sorrow.
Very good.

[Dreamer]

Oh this is a very sad piece. It makes me feel almost hopeless. I like the lines where u reverse wht is typically said. Instead of asking ppl to remember u for the better, ur askin her to recall the 'worse'. This intensifies the emotions in this piece. Good write

[Shy Girl]

I haven't listened to the song yet...but I don't think I could, just reading this poem alone brought tears to my eyes. I'm thinking if I listened to the song with it as you requested, that my vision would be to blurry to even finish. This is so... I really can't find the correct words to say... Except I felt this deep down where my soul rests alone and scared that I won't be remembered as I am or want to be. This without the music is beautiful. I'll let you know what I think of both together when I can breathe again. Lovely piece... =)

[Tasha]

The song and poem blended together nicely. It was bitter sweet. I liked it very much, great job.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[rwar ish me]

very nice, bitter sweet. liked it very much

[stars are far]

This was greaaaaaaaaaaaat
i loooooooooooved that :)