Okay...

Okay, So you’ve known me for what, a year? I’m not going to be able to forget this that easy… We’ve been talking for 1, yes? Still… I’m not going to be able to walk out unharmed from this.. But still I don’t know why Jessie for me is worse than the others..  It’s like.. Emotionally I feel worst for Jessie… Not like I’m in love with her but like she’s just been there for me.. It’s just so f*****g confusing.. She’s happy that she’ alive.. She’s Jess for f***s sake.. And I know her.. Maybe a little too well for her liking.. But I need to talk to her ‘bout this as well..  I haven’t exactly talked about how I felt about it.. But with the breakup with The Heroine at the same time.. It feels like no one knows how the hell I feel.. But really.. I’d love to talk to someone about it..  I’m just so frustrated.. It’s like struggling in between hope and happiness or insanity.. What I really want though is like.. Death.. I’ve tried to explain it before but nobody understood it.. Like.. It’s not that I want to die, it’s just, it seems like a decent way out.. Like I wouldn’t be missed.. But I know someone would miss me.. If not everyone I know.. But anyway this is just a diary I’m writing in.. I won’t f**k up.. Or actually I already have.. But yet the whole time.. I’ve felt unreal.. I didn’t even panic till after on the last day of school.. Even though I should’ve.. But I’m so confused.. Why is this bringing me down so bad.. F**k.. I can’t keep taking it.. It’s like I carry the weight of the world and the sanity of a lot of people on my shoulders..  But if I fall.. They’re fucked.. I don’t want that.. It’s the 17^th of June 2011.. And I just can’t like.. Bear it anymore..

 

A Fallen Hero

Dated 17/06/2011

Author's Note

Honest Opinion

Reviews

[Nr. Nine]

You added it in here? that's a strong one Fallen. We're there for you. remember. All of us. Don't you dare let it build up inside yourself! ;)

Nr. Nine

[Namelezz]

If you wan't to talk you've got your prone and my number, or just skype.
I'm always here and you know that.
Better take advantage of it sooner or later.

~Namelezz~

[A Risen Heroine.]

You can talk to me about everything, you know that, don't take it for granted.
Nice write, I'll look forward to read it all as a whole.

~A Fallen Heroine~

[Jessie McRiley]

I'm right here if you need me.. nothing else to say, except that you are my friend, and I love all of my friends... :)

Im proud of you... and you should be proud of yourself
:)