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The Book of The Lost

A Fallen Hero, An Unknown Soldier And The Lost Admirer   - The Book of The Lost

Dedication - My Sandra, Mom, Grandmother, Grandfather, Mathias, Sarah, Toke, Jessie,

The Alter Ego of Palle J. Pallesen - A Fallen Hero, An Unknown Soldier, The Lost Admirer  

The Letter of The Lost

I want to be this perfect guy..

But I found out that..

I’m not.. 

I knew I wasn’t..

But I tried.. 

For My Heroine..

For Blue, Namelezz and Noizes..

I’m supposed to take their pain away..

I can’t.. Not anymore..

I’ve never been happier..

I’ve never been sadder..

Strange combination of emotions..

I know..

But yet..

I’m trying so hard to make people live..

And if they live I die.. 

Because I give and give..

Even when there’s nothing left..

I’ve gotten my bruises..

I’ve taken my beatings..

I’ve found that: 

Nobody lives more than those who die..

Because I know that I’m dead..

So many things just running in my head..

I want it to go away..

Really..

You hate what you don’t understand..

But none the less..

I Will Live On..

Got that?

But when I think of it..

When I hold My Heroine..

It’s not like that..

I cling to her..

She’s holding me up..

A Fallen Hero - The Letter of The Lost

The Start

The discourage I feel

It’s leaving me with a taste of steel

I look around

I’m nowhere to be found

I frown

I drown

I know myself more

I should be a w***e

A w***e with words

A w***e for words

I am not anyone special

I am the one who took the devil’s facial

I look for my g-d

I just found the start

The start for 

The Book of The Lost

Palle J. Pallesen

Deception

I know not where I stand

My life is nothing but sand

How should I live on?

I know not for I am not strong

Curiosity

Builds my hypocrisy

Laughing out loud

At their democracy

Not known for being a loving man

But known to never give a damn

Just a deceptive illusion

Crazy intrusion

Distorted images

Mixed with unfinished finishes

This deception

It’s all an exception

It’s all my head

I am not as alive as I am dead

A Fallen Hero

Not A Life

This Pain

It’s your constant drain

It’s what you need

I’m doing this as a good deed

You can’t possibly imagine

This is such an expansion

Nothing here anymore

Just death on the cold bathroom floor

Palle J. Pallesen

Don’t Ever Destroy Me

“Don’t ever destroy me.. I trust you”

That’s my only question..

I’m so afraid..

My past..

My Present..

My love..

Promise me that you’re never leaving..

I would rip my heart out..

Tear it apart if you left..

So I beg of you..

Don’t ever Destroy me..

The Unknown Soldier

I love you

I love you so much

I never thought I would write this

But I love you

That’s my ultimate truth

You’ll never understand

You are like sand

All over the place

The Unknown Soldier

I Still love all of you

I Still love all of you

I Still love all of you

I Still love all of you

I Still love all of you

I Still love all of you

Disorder

That’s fine..

Rip me apart..

Pick up the pieces.. 

leave me here bleeding..

I meant all the things I said..

But you didn’t believe me..

That scares me..

I actually hoped that you’d believe..

In us..

In me.. 

In yourself..

Help.Yoursel.Fish..

I guess you couldn’t see..

That’s who I am..

Take it or leave it..

I guess not..

Why?

That’s my only question..

Why’d you leave me back then?

 Distorted and blurry nightmares..

I guess not..

I can’t say anything..

Biting my tongue..

Waiting for the right time..

To say..

I Love You..

I Doubt that you’ll ever understand why..

Why I Love You..

And why I say that I Love You the most..

Frustrating really..

But Darling..

Don’t ever doubt me..

I know I f**k up..

But it’s not your fault..

It’s all mine..

Overreacting..

Nope..

The one who loves the most..

Gets hurt the most..

That’s why I love you the most..

If we ever leave each other..

You’ll not be hurt..

I’ll take the fall..

But I never got it in the first place..

Just promise me that you won’t leave..

Please..

It’s my whisper..

It’s my prayer..

Could I possibly begin to understand?

Never..

So Darling please don’t start to cry..

This is not a goodbye..

This is only the beginning..

A Fallen Hero

Make Me Ache

What a bad case of social anxiety..

Yeah..

I Know..

Nothing really..

How could I possibly hit this spot..

Such an generic ability..

I can’t rid myself.. 

I guess..

I guess..

I should just shut up..

A Fallen Hero

Under Your Influence

You’re not the one..

You’re the all..

Tangled and destroyed.. 

That’s what you have to deal with..

But the scars seems to heal..

When I’m with you..

The pieces come together..

They form the whole..

No not whole..

They form the half..

But my personality seems to rationalize..

When I’m with you..

I can’t see this through..

Not anymore..

I’m told to get myself together..

Move on.. 

But it seems to be closed..

When I’m with you..

You should know me by now..

I’m struggling to stay here..

My eyes shuts faster now..

This is the real threat..

But I feel alive..

When I’m with you..

This death anxiety is real..

It’s another reason..

I call it treason..

Still I fear my death though..

But it seems so far away..

When I’m with you..

Palle J. Pallesen

 I Won’t Be Alone

I will not stand for this! 

You made me do this!

I can’t sit for this!

In my grave!

I Won’t Be Alone! 

A Fallen Hero

Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This.. Don’t Leave Me Here, Not Like This..

I Hate It.

Nothing’s left for anyone..

No one can possibly fix me..

I’m not like anyone..

I don’t like anyone but Noizes, Namelezz, Blue and My Heroine..

These are the only real friends I have..

The Mirror

This beautiful yet fractured mirror..

Every last piece destroyed..

The single shard left..

Shows signs of remorse..

Maybe a bit of sorrow..

Nothing can heal it..

Sadly.. 

Nothing wants to..

Nobody wants to look at the mirror..

This beautiful yet fractured mirror..

It startles and frightens.. 

It fights to live..

It cracks more and more everyday..

It accepts it’s fate.. 

To be created and then dying alone..

It stands alone against the world..

Nothing left than one shard..

Nobody wants to be with the mirror..

This beautiful yet fractured mirror..

It tells tales of the most terrifying places on earth..

It shows not a sign of light..

It shows pieces of the darkest places of heart..

It’s seen everything..

Yet it has seen nothing..

It knows all..

It knows nothing..

This mirror is my friend..

Loosely Based Thoughts

In a world filled

With something as poetic and pathetic as truth…

What’s left for any of us?

Am I the only one who thinks of screaming

As this pathetic world rapes me..

Or am I just a guy who dare speak his mind?

Or am I just out of line because I’m sober?

As you can hear..

My urn is calling me…

Why it has to be this way is out of my comprehension..

Life’s just a butch I guess..

I finally found someone..

Who made me think..

And old friend..

I still don’t get it though..

How come it takes so much to convince a person

That you’re not suicidal anymore?

Takes a mildly interesting conversation with the infantile topic of teenage depression and suicide..

But she got me thinking.

What if my whole concept of understanding human beings might even just be loosely based on my hate towards humanity..

That would make everything I write wrong..

And if I can’t write truthfully then I actually don’t want to write at all..

Just loosely based thoughts..

Remember Her

Why is this my life..

I F*****g hate it..

Yes I finally said it..

I hate all this confusion damn…

Why is it that it’s me having to live through this nightmare when I hate it so much!

Every f*****g night it comes back to haunt me…

Comes at daytime now as well like day mares..

Damn I’d be a drug for a psychologist..

F*****g dreams.. 

They make me dread the night..

Oh yea almost forgot about daytime..

Why won’t she realize that I’m the best of him and I?

It’s so easy to see who she should choose…

Me!

But instead she just fires that line of hate..

“I didn’t think that you could be driven by hate, not towards me anyway. I f*****g hate this situation, but you made it so f**k off”

Damn how I hated her back then..

But at least there was another feeling involved than love..

Do you know how it feels to love someone so much, that you can’t even speak or look at them..

If you do, could you explain to me why it, when it’s love, feels like hate?

That’s what I feel like all the time..

Like there’s this line between Her and I..

Is it because I’ve tasted her?

I know all about her taste, her scars and everything else she showed me…

That’s one of the reasons I’ll always remember her..

“I’ll call when I get home” 

That was about the time we agreed not to be together..

A Fallen Hero’s luck I guess…

But when I look back at her in ten years she’ll be a disgusting experience..

And I’ll think to myself what a wonderful world..

A world where a shitton of teens constantly battles depressions and constantly dies of suicide..

All because of a s****y life that no one ever cares about.. 

I just had that on my mind at 4 am in the morning..

I feel so free now..

My writing just flies out of me again..

It’s probably because of all these lies I’ve been fed lately..

And as I take the last drag of my cig I remember her..

Author's Note

honest opinion?
Dedicated to my friends and loved ones

Reviews

[A Risen Heroine.]

I love the whole chapter!
I enjoyed every each sentence.
Very well done darling!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the complete chapter. No weakness. Just a flow of words making the story and emotions come alive. I like the use of poetry to make your point. Each poem being able to stand on it own. The set-up and pace of this chapter was very good. You held my attention till the last words. I like the ending with the cig. I prefer a good cigar. A very strong chapter. Thank you.
Coyote

[Namelezz]

Very well written. enjoyed reading every sentience :)

Thumps up and lots of love from here :D

Namelezz