Interlude

This is real.. Now there’s nothing with nightmares anymore.. All real now I guess.. F**k.. This is just way to much.. Way to real.. This pain driven to my chest.. It’s stuck there with the rest of the goddamn love.. What do I have to do to clear this pain.. I keep seeing them together.. Right in front of me.. But My Heroine didn’t want to.. I know that.. I hope that.. I believe that.. Not a single nightmare could be worse than this uncertainty.. Nothing could.. F**k this s**t.. I’m so mad that I’m not mad at all.. I’m more sad than anything.. We were perfect.. We were happy.. We are perfect for each other.. We are happy together.. I can’t see through any of this.. I’m so f*****g depressed.. My life is nothing.. I’m nothing.. I shouldn’t be one of the better writers at my school.. I should be failing every class.. I should be left there on the floor.. I should be beaten till I couldn’t stand.. Then pissed on.. I’m not worth it.. I shouldn’t exactly have an alter ego strong enough to keep me alive.. I should be happy.. F**k it.. I can’t be.. I’ve found everything.. All though this truth isn’t right.. And I’m just a kid.. I shouldn't exactly be depressed at sixteen.. Should I? Somebody save me please.. I feel like I’m falling.. Again.. Like everything I do is just so fucked up.. I can’t keep lying to myself.. The truth has to be brought forth.. Someday.. Someday I’ll see the light.. But as I see it now.. I’m really close to suicide.. Again.. Nothing.. Is.. Real.. Not anymore.. As I write this page in my blood.. You must understand.. Hypothermia killed me today.. Nothing but that.. I’m dead.. My heart has stopped.. I’m writing to you all dead.. When will anybody get It.. I am dead.. I’ve been dead since 21/10/2010.. But nobody cares.. Do you?.. You never cared about me.. I’m used to the feeling.. Nobody ever cared for me.. Why should you care.. I am a lost cause.. I am an Unknown Soldier fighting the losing battle against his sanity.. I am A Fallen Hero.. The one who lost everything.. But I’m not the suffering nor the victim.. Damn.. Depression a victim less crime.. At least that’s what all those happy f***s told me.. Nobody understands me.. I sound like any angst filled teen I know.. All I’ve got is A Heroine.. And Noizes.. Those Noizes really helps.. I know they do.. But then again.. My Heroine.. She saved me.. Again and again.. She’s there all the time.. Always.. I could call her at two am and she’d pick up and talk to me.. I know she would.. She’s my all.. She’s my heart.. She’s my love.. She’s the chain.. The chain that keeps me alive.. Nobody but them.. They’re all I’ve really got.. My family bothers to look at me.. That’s okay.. But they can’t help me.. Not the way they’re supposed to.. They do not know me anymore.. I am my own wave.. I am my own master.. I am my own friend.. I am a mirror.. Shattered into a million pieces.. Nothing is there to help me.. Goodbye.. Take care..

Best Regards..

A Fallen Hero.

Author's Note

Honest Opinion

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing words and emotion in this chapter. When we dance on the edge. Can easily fall into s**t or hell. I like the internal struggle and desire to know some kind of peace. A outstanding chapter. Thank you.
Coyote

[fallen.angel.]

Somehow, I liked how all your thoughts and feelings came out in that, and how you approached the topic of suicide.
Just a note: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM SUICIDE.
Ahahaha, overall, it's very interesting~~*

It's hard to feel so all alone, that nobody hears you. I felt like that for a long time as well. I hit depression, depression was turning into suicide. I knew it was time to get help. So I did and I'm quite happy now, I think it also is making the decision to rise above. People will always kick the s**t outta you but don't let it ever bring you down. Rise above them and move on! You're strong to do it.
I'm glad you have A Fallen Heroine to help you out!
Great write, a very strong chapter!!