A Fallen Hero? Gagging Your Pride? Just Swallow It All... A Fallen Hero?

I’m way to depressed to see a better and brighter side..

This feeling of melancholy haunts me..

I know I sound like any angsty filled teen writer..

I write because it makes me feel better..

And when I write I’m in my own f*****g world..

Far away from My Ugly, all the hate, sorrow and shame..

I just hate how I can’t be better than I am..

I want to change..

I need to change..

Yet my ugly helps me survive..

Makes me move like a spirit throughout the f*****g world..

But I hate it..

More than I hate myself..

That’s something that I hate..

Myself..

But that’s just something needing to be closed..

Oh closure..

Won’t you come to me?

I need closure and silence..

To finish every thought I ever had..

I’ve been facing this for four years now..

Do you know what it f*****g feels like..

Nothing you ever f*****g do is right..

Not to you..

Not to anyone..

That’s just something that really gets me..

And that melancholic feeling comes back..

I hate it..

And that gets to me..

How much I really hate..

Like everything seriously gets to me..

F*****g grim..

How should an unsupervised psychologically deranged, depressed and insane half angsty teen survive in this piece of s**t world..

But still My Ugly shows his f*****g face every f*****g day..

I hate it..

I Hate Him..

I hate that love when it spew’s it’s poisonous vomit all over you just gives you a feeling of happiness..

But clinical depression mixed with happiness isn’t to good a thing..

Because your mind plays f*****g tricks on you..

And you just suck The Ugly’s c**k and swallow his juices..

You get back up with a smile on your face and  thank him for all the gagging and tell him that his juices tasted all to good..

And just as he thanks you ..

Your f*****g world breaks down..

You wake up and feel like you just emptied eight bottles of vodka and got your a*s kicked..

Then sorrow comes knocking on your door..

Then falls the first tear..

Then the suicidal tendencies kicks in..

Who better to spit these words than A Fallen Hero..

Another victim of shattered dreams and a broken heart..

All he lived for was her well being..

And the black slime that now slides from his mouth is just a reminder of how bad he feels about every single f*****g thing..

He’s shown his scars and compared them to theirs.. 

Only to find his worse..

To live is to easy for him..

Death is his only real enemy..

No not death..

Suicide..

The only fitting way of death for him would be the self inflicted way..

Underestimated his scars?

Then you’re a worthy target for his tormented way of life..

But still His Ugly f*****g haunts Him..

The only enemy he can’t kill.. 

His Ugly..

As He stands again..

He Hails King Scum.. 

He answers to no one..

His back carries the huge abundance of low self esteem..

That self esteem he’s afraid to lose..

Now you know my background..

And still..

It’s A Fallen Hero to you..

So here’s to you..

King Scum..

Author's Note

So here's to my background..
And Once again..
Thx to E.H. for The Ugly..
Honest Fucking Opinion..

A Fallen Hero

Reviews

[Drako]

the opening got to me. i've always thought writing was a good form of therapy, and you should continue it if it helps you. no one should take that from you

you also say you need change. the first step in changin is admitting you need to.

i can relate to the feeling that nothing you do is right. it's how you feel when you're depressed. in time, that feeling will fade as you come completely in touch with yourself and what makes you happy. when you begin to acknowledge what makes you happy, you'll come to peace with yourself.

got a little grphic there with the ugly. though i understand its a metaphor, still, quite an interesting way of putting it. a twist of sexual dominance to define an ongoing problem that you constantly fight

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. I had to read a second time. I will backtrack and read the other chapter. The story got stronger with each line in the poem. Sometime we take what we can get in a life. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Brad]

catharisis, bro, nothings better...its hard to revisit some of it, without shedding a few tears and a few pints of blood, but healing is cliche but a neccessary step in all of this

[Life Is Blue]

I like this, it makes me think.. And i like the thing about the 'ugly'..

Great chapter looking forward to the next.

Blue

[A Risen Heroine.]

This is written so well, I love the images you give us.
It made me cry...
Keep up amazing work and thanks for sharing!

~A Fallen Heroine~