A Piece of My Mind

So depressed..

Nothing feels right anymore..

Am I wrong?

I Don’t Know..

If I were to lie to you..

Or with you..

Don’t you think I’d try harder?

Depression hits so f*****g randomly..

Depression moves in like a f*****g assassin..

Another piece of my perceptive reality..

Another look at my deceptive expressionism..

I hate it…

As I lay there in a circle of leafs I felt happy..

For the first time..

But in a f*****g dream..

I felt happy..

I really f*****g hate this..

I want out..

I want to rewind time..

Just turn my back when Her and I got together..

Depressive here and there..

Lacking the emotions to tell everyone that they’re extinct to me..

Depressive here and there.. 

Emotions just blending together..

Completed within another dream..

But completion would really be needed.. 

I would really be in my best intention..

But it’s beyond my comprehension..

Deception is all I seem to find..

With everyone.. 

That’s what scares me in my newest and most stabile friendship..

A Visitor to my own mind..

A concept of breathing when I don’t f*****g need it..

I don’t want to breathe..

Not when I sit and think of everything..

I need f*****g closure.. 

I want f*****g closure..

A Depressive leave of absence..

I want out..

I want to stop..

I hate you..

No I don’t..

I don’t know anything Anymore..

I f*****g deceived you all..

Except for one girl..

I can’t deceive you..

I hope you know..

Summer is close..

I just don’t think it’ll help..

I wanna be happy..

Not in my dreams..

Because that would just destroy me..

I really wish to become somewhat happy..

Or just not so depressed..

It’s so f*****g annoying..

Black boots to my face again..

Fists getting covered with blood..

My blood..

What the f**k am I down here for?

Why don’t I fight back..

Why?

Why?

Why?

Get yourself up you fat f**k of a body..

Would you please beat the s**t out of these fuckers..

But they hate me..

Get up..

They’ll just come back if I do that…

Get up..

No..

Get up..

Get out of my head!

I hate you..

A Silent tear slides my cheek again..

I cry more and more everyday.

I hate that..

Most of my days have been cut down to crying and playing music..

Even though Her smile means so much..

I saw her smile for the first time..

Her real smile..

Not just a fake one..

Like most of mine is..

Most of my smiles are so fake..

I want to smile for real again..

Or laugh out loud..

Instead I sit down and take a look at the scar..

That fateful scar that changed my way..

That day I died..

Died inside..

I hope..

I know..

I live..

I Breathe..

I die a little more everyday..

I don’t know why..

The letter was a gift..

A nobody’s gift..

A Writers gift to make someone happy..

But if I played a song instead..

That might be better..

Hard to do constantly..

But still..

Everyone should be depressed..

Then I wouldn’t feel so out of place..

Every tear I shed is another piece of my life lost..

And someday I will realize that I can’t keep mourning..

Can’t keep this fakeness up..

Sorta bitchy..

But true..

A Fallen Hero - A Piece of My Mind

Author's Note

Hated.. Unwanted.. Written..
Dig it or lick it..
Honest Opinion

Fallen